Dedicated and written Monday, January 5, 2009
Knowing he's taken transcends anticipation. The lust is morphed into boiling guilt. To stay away would be wise but to come near would be sweet. A tug-of-war between heart and mind; consequences only realized when they've been brought to light. Whirlwind of emotions. Growing cold yet steaming hot. Longing for the touch that will put the fire out. Expectations. Dreams drawn from reality. The situation we face is that in which we run away from. Together, him and her but he and I would be angelic. As I deflect the blame from me to him, the pain it strengthens. In an attempt to justify and at the same time ease my mind I embrace the thought that one day we will be. If only for a moment we will share time that is valued by both him as well as I. Though I have no doubt of its occurrence it is the time in which the situation will be pursued that puzzles me. Like clockwork, the shame takes its toll. The disgrace unfolds from even those incapable of handling the truth. To toy with "fact" as if it were pliable. To question my own presence under these conditions is still clearly dishonorable. An awareness of ones own actions means nothing if failed when put to the test. An unused conscience is good to no one.
©LittleO™
