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What are you waiting for?
Why is it that special people who come into our lives and touch our hearts have to leave?
It doesn't matter if that person is a family member, a lover, or even just a special friend, it seems like fate too often has a nasty way of reaching out and taking that person away from us. So far in my life I've known the pain of losing both of my parents, the soul crushing feeling of being betrayed by a lover, and the sorrow of having countless friends die or just fade away. It doesn't seem to matter how long that persons been a part of my life, the hurt is always there, and losing someone I care about never seems to get any easier.
I realize you always take a chance everytime you open up your heart to someone,.... but most of the time you just can't help it,...Sometimes when you first meet someone, you get this feeling like you've known that person your whole life and your souls connect.... They have a certain "spark" inside them that makes you feel alive, and instantly you let down all your barriers. I'm sure most of you have known at least one person who for some unknown reason, always seemed to be able to make you smile, Someone who no matter how bad of a day you were having, just knowing they were thinking of you made things a little better. Why is it that these "special" friends always seem to be ones that are ripped from our lives by circumstances beyond our control? Sometimes they die... Sometimes they leave.... And sometimes they just move to a new location and fade away.... It doesn't really matter why they're gone, all your heart knows is they are no longer there..... That "spark" they brought into your life is no longer there,..... and all that's left is a big hole down deep inside that hurts because they're gone.
So Why? .... Why do we let people into our hearts? ... Why do we let someone get close enough to us that it hurts us so bad when they leave?
The only answer I can think of is hope.
The hope that someday someone will connect with us at that intimate level and NOT leave.
As sad as it makes me to lose someone close to me,.... The idea of never letting anyone get that close, makes me even sadder. I know I don't want to spend the rest of my life with my heart tucked away behind some stone wall that no one could ever tear down,... just because I was too afraid of getting hurt again. So what choice do I really have? ...All I can do is just keep living my life the best way I know how to, and HOPE that someday life will bring me that someone special in my life, either as a friend, or as a lover, that doesn't leave.
