Priest in Airport Customs
A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, "Father, may I ask a favor?"
"Of course. What may I do for you?"
"Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there anyway you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?"
"I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie."
"With your honest face, Father, no one will question you."
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her. The official asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"
"From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare."
The official thought this answer strange, so asked, "And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?"
"I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused."
Roaring with laughter, the official said, "Go ahead, Father." Next!
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Honey, Look!
A farmer was having trouble getting his horses to breed. He had tried everything and was at his wits end. Finally, one day he called the local Vet.
The Vet told him to rub the male nose into the female horse...He would get the scent of her and breed. Sure enough, the farmer rubbed the male horse’s nose into the female and he hopped right on.
That evening the farmer was thinking about his own trouble in the sex department. So that night after him and his wife were lying in bed, he reached down underneath the covers and rubbed on his wife and then rubbed his nose. To his amazement, he got his first hard-on in years. He yelled out to his wife..."honey look!!! look!!!" His wife turned on the light disgusted and said "You woke me up to tell me you had a bloody nose?"
