Just when there is nothing else to say o...'s blog: "Humor ;-o"

> One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their mothers did > for a living. > > > > All the typical answers came up -- teacher, nurse, businesswoman, > saleswoman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth. > > > > However, little Justin was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the > teacher prodded him about his mother, he replied, 'Well my mother's an > exotic dancer in a cabaret and takes off all her clothes in front of men > and they put money in her underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really > good, she will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for > money.' > > > > The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other > children to work on some exercises and then took little Justin aside to > ask him, 'Is that really true about your mother?' 'No,' the boy said, > 'She works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get > Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to > say that in front of the other children.

Little Melissa comes home from 1st grade & tells her father that they learned about the history of Valentine's Day. 'Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint, and we're Jewish,' she asks, 'Will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine? Melissa's father thinks a bit, then says: 'No, I don't think God would get mad. Whom do you want to give a Valentine to?' 'Osama Bin Laden,' she says. 'Why Osama Bin Laden?' her father asks in shock. 'Well,' she says, 'I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give Osama a Valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent Valentines to Osama, he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much he loved them, and how he didn't hate anyone anymore.' Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride. 'Melissa, that's the most wonderful thing I have ever heard.' 'I know, ' Melissa says, 'and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could shoot the fucker.'

I was depressed last night so I called the Helpline Got a call center in Pakistan Told them I was suicidal They got all excited -- asked if I could drive a truck!

This is cute! Take a laugh break... Subject: A Frickin Elephant WITH A FIVE YEAR OLD, WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET, READ ON??????? A Frickin' Elephant Jake is 5 and learning to read. He points at a picture in a zoo book and says, "Look Mama! It's a frickin' Elephant!" Deep breath ... "What did you call it?" "It's a frickin' Elephant, Mama! It says so on the picture!" and so it does ... " A f r i c a n Elephant " Hooked on phonics!!! Ain't it wonderful?