Dj Phil's blog: "Jokes"

> Take off clothing and place it in sectioned
> laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
> Walk to bathroom wearing long robe.
> If you see husband along the way,
> cover up any exposed areas.

> Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
> make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

> Get in the shower. Use wash cloth, long loofah,
> wide loofah and pumice stone.

> Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
> with 43 added vitamins.
> Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
> Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.
> Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
> 10 minutes until red.

> Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut
> and jaffa cake body wash.

> Rinse conditioner off hair.

> Shave armpits and legs.
> Rinse off.
> Turn off shower.

> Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
> Spray mold spots with Tilex.
> Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

> Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

> Return to bedroom wearing long robe and towel on head.
> If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
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HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
> Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
> and leave them in a pile.

> Walk naked to the bathroom.

> If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her
> making the woo-woo sound.

> Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

> Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.

> Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

> Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

> Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

> Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

> Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on
> the soap.
> Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

> Pee.

> Rinse off and get out of shower.

> Partially dry off.

> Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was
> hanging out of tub the whole time.
> Admire wiener size in mirror again.

> Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor,
> and light and fan on.
> Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

> If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her
> and make the woo-woo sound again.

> Throw wet towel on bed.
*********************
> If there is anyone who did not laugh at the truth behind this,
> there is something SO very wrong with you.
> Have a great day...... and woo woo!!!