How To Get Past A Woman's "Defenses"
>NOTE: You can look at all of the video and
audio training programs I've created to help you
learn how to approach and meet women right HERE:
Double Your Dating Catalog
Here's an interesting story...
A few hours ago I was standing in a "posh" bar
in San Francisco.
I was standing near to the bar, looking around
at the people, when the guy next to me starts
talking to a girl that he doesn't know.
She turned and looked at him with a look that
said "I don't know you, I don't want to talk to
you, and you have no chance with me".
The look on her face couldn't have been more
clear. As soon as he started talking to her, she
put up her defenses.
The more he tried to talk to her, the more
annoyed she got.
It was painful to watch.
Then things got REALLY interesting.
The guy turned to me and started making
conversation with me.
He asked me how I was "doing" with the ladies
at the bar.
I told him that I had just arrived, and I
wasn't particularly in the mood to talk to women
at the moment... I was just enjoying my drink and
relaxing.
He then started to talk about how "meeting
women was a numbers game" and how he had been
"laying rap" on women all night... but he didn't
have any "luck" so far.
We started discussing our different approaches
to meeting women.
I told him that when I decide to talk to a
woman that I really find attractive, I am
confident that I'll be successful with her.
He kind of laughed and told me that meeting
women was a game of luck, and if you wanted to
win, you had to just keep playing the numbers...
and hope you find one that likes you.
Right at that moment, two cute women walked up
to the bar. One of them was very hot. He
looked at the hotter girl, pointed to her, and
said "I like that".
I said "Well then go talk to her".
He decided to go "order a drink" (in other
words, he was going to go up to the bar and FAKE
like he was there to order a drink, and then
"accidentally" start a conversation with her).
Of course, he already HAD a drink, so he
fumbled around trying to find a place to put it
down so he could walk up to the bar with no drink
and not look like he was "on the make".
It was pretty damn funny.
Anyway, he squeezes in next to this girl, and
tries to act like he's just there to get a drink.
He then turns to her, and tries to start a
conversation.
What happened? Of course...
Her defenses went up INSTANTLY.
She said a few words to him, but then turned
away from him, took her drink and her friend, and
walked away from the bar.
He came back over to me and made no comment
about the interaction with her...
I watched him try to talk to more women after
that... all with the same result.
Their defenses went up AS SOON as he started
talking to them.
This guy's theory of "talking to a lot of women
until you get lucky and find one who likes you"
was working pretty well...
Except for the fact that he WASN'T getting
"lucky" at all, and NO women liked him....
One of the problems he had was not
understanding this thing that I call "Sexual
Communication". If you'd like to learn more about
this particular topic, then take a minute and
look at THIS:
Sexual Communication
HITTING THE WALL
Have you ever been in a situation talking to a
girl, and you could just FEEL that she had her
"defenses up"?
Or have you ever been out on a date with a
woman, and had a bad feeling in your GUT about the
situation... and no matter what you did, the
situation only got worse, and she seemed to get
further away from you?
If you're like me, then you've been in a LOT of
these situations.
In fact, I think it's happened to me so many
times that I have "female defense radar". It's
like I can tell INSTANTLY if a woman has her
defenses up... and it doesn't feel GOOD.
You've been there... one minute everything is
OK, and the next minute she has flipped on some
kind of force-field that is PERMANENT.
You know what I'm talking about...
And once the defenses are up, it's as if she
has become a DIFFERENT person. And trying to make
it better, only makes it worse.
Always.
That's called HITTING THE WALL.
And once you hit it, there's no bouncing back.
A WOMAN'S DEFENSES, AND HOW THEY WORK
So what's up with that?
Why do women have this "defense mechanism"?
What triggers it?
And how can we, as guys, get past it?
Well, the reality is that a woman's defense
mechanism is something that PROTECTS her. It saves
her time. And it saves her headaches and hassles.
You've heard me say that attractive women are
approached ALL THE TIME by men. In one way or
another, an attractive woman is CONSTANTLY
approached and pursued by men.
Women can't afford to spend even a FRACTION of
their time with every guy who shows interest, so
they use "time management" techniques.
How 21st century of them.
One of these "time management techniques" is
their defense mechanism.
If a girl decides that she isn't interested in
being with a particular guy... and it doesn't
matter if it's within the first five seconds or
the first five months... the mechanism kicks in.
It creates an invisible wall that protects her.
You can feel it. She can feel it. And even though
neither of you can see it, you both know that it's
more powerful than a real wall... because most men
don't know how to get PAST it.
I know that you've thought about this issue at
some point. If you're like me, you've thought
about it a LOT. Maybe even obsessively. Maybe you
have even schemed and tortured yourself trying to
figure out the magic way to get past a woman's
defenses...
Are you with me here?
A NEW WAY OF LOOKING AT THINGS...
What if I were to tell you that YOU are the one
who actually controls her defense mechanism?
And what if I were to tell you that all this
time, YOU'RE THE ONE who's been causing women to
put up their defenses, and shut you out?
And what if I told you that looking for the
magic way to "get past her defenses" was really a
waste of time?
What if I told you instead that the ULTIMATE
way to "get past" her defenses was to NEVER CAUSE
HER TO PUT THEM UP in the first place.
See, the reality is that her defenses are a
RESPONSE or a REACTION to something YOU are doing.
YOU are the one who's doing things that kick off
the sequence of events.
In fact, if you think of it from this
particular perspective, you'll realize that you
REALLY ARE controlling her defense mechanisms.
BACK TO MY STORY...
Shortly after his "bad luck" episodes, the guy
I was talking to in the bar walked away from me.
I stood at the bar thinking of what he had just
said and done... and how so many guys I've met
think the same way.
Right then, a woman asked me if I'd move over a
little bit so she could order a drink.
I said "sure", and turned sideways so she could
squeeze in next to me.
At first, I turned my back to her.
After a minute or two, I turned back around,
and started talking to her and her friends.
I was teasing them and making fun, and
generally being a pain in the ass.
There were a total of four girls there
together, and I was talking to three of them.
I turned my attention to the quietest of the
three, and started teasing her.
I asked her why she was so quiet, teasing her
about it, etc.
Every time I asked her a question or said
something, she either shook her head "no" or
nodded her head "yes".
No words.
Finally, she held up her left hand and proudly
displayed her wedding ring.
She said "I'm married".
I laughed at her and said "Wow, good for you. I
guess if I was trying to pick up on you I'd be
pretty upset right now... but I'm not, so you
don't have anything to worry about".
Now, the REALITY of the situation was that I
was NOT trying to "pick up on her".
She was the least attractive woman in the
group, and her personality was about as
interesting as a mule's.
Her friends heard me say this to her, and they
turned and looked at me with wide eyes.
They couldn't believe that I had just said that
to their friend, and they could tell that I was
being VERY serious, and that I could care less
what she thought of me.
I went on talking to these four girls for the
rest of the night... about another hour or so.
I mixed up the conversation.
Sometimes I talked to one of them... sometimes
two... sometimes three... sometimes all four.
I teased them all, busted on them, called them
all kinds of freaky-chick names, and generally
acted like they were my four, bratty little sisters
that annoyed me... but who I still loved (a
little).
By the end of the evening, I was sitting on a
little couch with three of the girls.
At this point, there were almost NO women left
at this bar. I'd say the guy/girl ratio was about
6 or 7 to 1.
I could see about 30 guys standing around me,
and maybe 5 or 6 women. And I had 3 of those 5 or
6 on the couch next to me.
At one point, two of them were on either side
of me MASSAGING me at the same time. It was funny.
Of course RIGHT AT THAT MOMENT the guy from
earlier walked by, stopped, and looked at me. The
look of shock in his eyes was priceless. He didn't
even say hi... he just walked away.
The evening ended with two of the girls kissing
me, and one of them getting my number because she
was going to be in my area in a few weeks and
wanted to see me...
Let's get down to the point...
The reason why I was so successful with these
particular women was because I didn't do what
every other guy that they ran into did...
I didn't trigger their DEFENSE MECHANISMS.
They had time to get to know me... they had
time to get comfortable with me... and I had
time to spark all kinds of sexual tension and
attraction with them.
Now let me tell you how I did it...
WHAT TRIGGERS A WOMAN'S DEFENSE MECHANISM... AND
HOW TO AVOID IT
I'm about to give you a VERY important insight
into how women interact with men.
Pay close attention to this. It's taken me a
LONG time to figure this out...
Women are VERY perceptive.
They know what a guy is thinking by looking at
his body language, and listening to his voice
tone.
Some experts estimate that women are as much as
TEN TIMES better than men at reading body
language.
To most women, men are an OPEN BOOK.
Guys have no idea just how obvious they are...
And there's one particular thing that triggers
a woman's defense mechanism faster than a chubby
kid eats cake...
It's SEEKING APPROVAL.
In every situation with a woman, you can say
WHATEVER you want to say in a way that either:
1) Seeks her approval
2) Doesn't seek her approval
Think about it.
You're either SEEKING APPROVAL... or you're
NOT...
And most guys ARE when they're talking to a
woman that they're interested in.
As I watched the guy in the bar walk up to
women and try to start conversations all night,
the ONE thing that was obvious to all that had the
eyes to see, was that he wanted APPROVAL.
He wanted the women to LIKE him.
I guarantee you that this man was an honest-
to-goodness certifiable WUSSY... and every woman
that he tried to talk to could SMELL it on him.
On the other hand, when I talk to a woman, I
avoid seeking approval.
I make it clear, no matter what I'm saying or
doing, that it doesn't matter whether or not she
likes me... I could care less.
The more I made it clear to the women I was
talking to, that I DIDN'T need their approval, the
more they LIKED ME.
If you want to get past a woman's defenses, the
best plan of action is to NOT TRIGGER them IN THE
FIRST PLACE.
Now, the reality of this situation is that some
women are walking around with their defenses
already up. Maybe they're married, or maybe
they're angry at men... or maybe they're just very
shy.
We live in the real world, and this is part of
it.
But in most situations YOU are the one who
triggers the defenses. It's YOU.
I have several friends who I've watched
interacting with women MANY, MANY times... and
these particular guys RARELY, if EVER get the
"defensive" cold shoulder from women.
Why?
Because they're not seeking approval. They're
just doing what they want, and being themselves.
If you can spend an hour talking to a woman,
and not seek her approval the entire time, you
stand a DRAMATICALLY better chance of taking
things to the next level with her.
That simple demonstration of showing her a full
hour of non-approval-seeking behavior and
communication will separate you from 99% of all
the guys that have approached her in her life.
And the best part about this particular
technique is that it's NOT MANIPULATION. In fact,
seeking approval is far more manipulative than
what I'm saying here.
In fact, one of the reasons why women don't
like a guy who seek approval, is because they
INSTANTLY sense that the guy is using a
MANIPULATIVE tactic.
If you think through the situations that you've
been in with women, you realize that this is the
case.
So stop seeking women's approval when you meet
them.
Stop it!
Learn how to say things in a way that clearly
communicates that you don't need her to like you
or approve of you.
Then learn how to be Cocky & Funny.
When you can make a woman laugh while you're
NOT seeking her approval, you have a powerful
combination that sparks ATTRACTION.
Which leads me to the VERY BEST way of all to
"get past a woman's defenses".
MAKE HER FEEL ATTRACTION FOR YOU.
If a woman feels a powerful ATTRACTION for you,
then the kinds of defenses that we're talking
about here don't even come into play.
Attraction is such a powerful physical and
emotional response that it temporarily disables a
woman's defense mechanisms...
It's the one thing, if you know how to do it,
that women WISH you would trigger inside of them.
Once a woman starts to feel that magical
emotional and physical response called ATTRACTION,
the entire situation changes, and you start having
the kinds of success with women that most men only
dream about.
And most women go through life WISHING, HOPING,
AND DREAMING that they will someday find a man
that can make them feel this amazing feeling...
That man should be you.
And what's the best way for you to learn how to
trigger this magical response that we're talking
about here?
I thought you'd never ask...
The best way to learn is to invest in the
programs that I've created to TEACH you this
stuff.
Start with my book "Double Your Dating". It
will take you through the basics... and teach you
my main concepts, theories, and techniques... very
quickly. You can download it right now and be
reading it within a few minutes. Get it here:
Double Your Dating eBook
Next, you want to get yourself a copy of my
Advanced Dating Techniques DVD/CD program. This is
a "Boot Camp" style training... and it will teach
you exercises for overcoming your fears and
raising your self image with women... along with
hundreds of different concepts, theories, and
specific step-by-step techniques for all aspects
of meeting women and getting dates.
You can learn all about it here:
Advanced Series
Once you've finished with those programs, and
you'd like to get more in-depth training in
specific areas, check out some of my more
intensive, focused programs...
Check out my Approaching Women program here:
Approaching Women
Check out my Body Language program here:
Body Language
And check out my Deep Inner Game program here:
Deep Inner Game
You can watch some great video clips of each
program on these web sites...
You'll get a ton of great insights just by
watching these clips. Of course, you'll get a
THOUSAND times more by investing in the programs.
So do yourself the favor, and make the investment
in yourself.
Talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.