Adapted from The Friendship Crisis, by Marla Paul (Rodale Press, 2004).
Everybody needs friends! Having someone to laugh with, cry with–someone who understands and cares and supports you–is part of what makes life worth living. But in today’s busy world, we often don’t make enough time to nurture those friendships that are so essential.
Here are five tips that are the equivalent of friendship vitamins, sure to help a relationship flourish.
1. Pay attention. Keep tabs on the significant events in a friend’s life. Did her daughter just head off to college? Call to see how she’s holding up and invite her over for coffee. Did her dad have bypass surgery? Check in.
2. Exercise your dialing finger. Okay, most of us have touch-tone phones, but you get the idea: friendship thrives on knowing the minutiae of each other’s lives. You can’t know them unless you stay in touch. Don’t quibble about whose turn it is to call.
3. Crack open your date book. The happiest women wedge spaces into their week for pals no matter how busy they are. They meet for muffins before work, hit side-by-side treadmills at the health club, sashay out for dinner on a weeknight. Make it a nonnegotiable date.
4. Raise a flute of champagne. Sure, we need people when life clops us between the eyes. But it’s just as important to cheer the victories. Did she finally finish her master’s thesis or nab a promotion? Take her out to lunch or send her a note.
5. Rain compliments. Most of us don’t get a lot of strokes–from our boss, our family, or our kids. That’s what friends are for. I know a woman who makes me feel gorgeous and brilliant–well, at least attractive and capable–nearly every time we talk. How could you not love her?
