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Before you freak, I would not necessarily do something like this, I just thought it was a good interest-getting tag line... You will see how it works in as the story is told. I went to Philadelphia last year with my wife to visit family. Well, things are certainly different once you enter the "city part" of Philly. The "City of Brotherly Love" definitely speaks to so many interesting things within the city. We went to the west side to visit some family and spend the weekend. Well, first of all, getting there is a chore. You can't possibly take I-95 North on Friday night - it would take about 6 hours. So instead, you have to take I-81 to the PA turnpike and the "long" way to get there, but that isn't the worst part. Once you get in the city, traffic laws become an option. That's right, I said and OPTION. A STOP sign is just a suggestion that you should probably slow down a little and see if anyone is coming and then floor it when you realize there is no one at the corner before you. You wouldn't want to lose that 2 seconds while you actually obey the law. STOP for those from out of town becomes a warning sign - S.T.O.P. = Some Traffic Optionally Passes. That is right, if you actually STOP at a STOP sign, you may get passed on the right shoulder (the bus/bike lane) by someone who has something a little more important to do than you (like run drugs or something). Traffic lights are very similar in this last respect. A green light still means GO in Philly, but a yellow (as my dad also once used to say) means "Go Like Hell to Beat the Red." *laughing to myself* A red light however has multiple meanings. First of all, it still means STOP (and is more effective than a STOP sign). But, it also means that you should watch the light of the street that is crossing yours and see when that light turns yellow, because then you can start to roll into the intersection (you just better hope they don't have that yellow for long and don't believe that a yellow means to gun the engine). I think that is a lot for a light to say, but that is what they mean. Right turn on red is prohibited to MOST people between the hours of 6am and 6pm - unless you drive a Cadillac with big rims, Honda with a rice-pipe, Toyota from the 80s, Hummer from the 2000s, or any make of "hooptie" car you can think. Then, as long as you act like you didn't see the sign and not second guess it, you are fine. Last, but not least, the reason for the story. In Philadelphia, you can get away with ANYTHING that would usually be against the law (like double-parking) by putting on your four-way flashers. Many times I have turned a corner to a two-way street and found that it was now one-lane because of 4-way flashers being double-parked. However, what the people using this method don't understand is that rather than making it OK, it just gives those of us from out of town something to point and laugh at. Turning the corner of a street in Philly is a interesting (and sometimes heart-pounding) experience. First you deal with the light or the sign and then you see the four-way flashers. Then, when you get to the end of the block you realize the next block is closed down (not by police - although the yellow tape would indicate it was) for a block party! I would think you would need some permit, but these things spring up because 3 neighbors thought it would be a good idea to pitch a tent and fry some chicken and roast some ribs and drink some beer and have a grand time. This is the second way to get away with things that would normally be illegal (like shutting down the street). Just go to your local crime scene after the investigation (or during it as long as it is a family members house) and take the tape for future use. As soon as you put that up, the cops in the area believe it is a "sanctioned" event and it will be ok. So, in summary, how to cheat on your wife and it be "ok." First, drive to Philadelphia. Second, get some police tape (watch out for stray bullets). Third, get a secluded alleyway (not too secluded, let's not be dumb about this). Get your mistress (or mister) to meet you as you put up the police tape at either end of the alleyway. Fifth, turn on your four-way flashers and get in the back seat. If a cop comes by, they will continue along the way and you won't get in trouble for indecent exposure or some such misdemeanor. If your wife (or husband) happens to track you down, you can just say... "but I had my four-way flashers on so it doesn't count!"
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