How to ask forgiveness of the one you hurt in 7 steps for your own inner peace. 1. Take responsibility for your part, how you hurt the other person, rather than give any attention to how they hurt you. In fact, if you haven't expressed your own hurt, this may need to be the first letter. However, for healing to be complete, you eventually need to take full responsibility for your own actions, or even thoughts. 2. Be vulnerable. Reveal your own sadness or remorse for causing them pain. 3. Let them know you are not asking them to respond in any way. You are doing this for yourself, not to get forgiven by them. If they write back, it needs to clearly be their own choice. 4. If you can, include some appreciation for this person. Look at who they are rather than the painful interaction with you. 5. Write the letter with the choice of not sending it. Asking for forgiveness is, after all, a very personal and inner process. 6. Share the letter with someone you trust, and get their feedback. 7. If it feels right, send the letter.