Rogue Dominant's blog: "My Life In Black & White"

Standing in line at Subway, (the restaurant, not the underground tube), an attractive woman ahead of me, waiting. Judging from her outfit, I'm guessing she just left work. So had I. I was looking good, I have to admit. I almost always wear dress shirts and today was no exception. My jeans were pressed and my hair was all in place, my face freshly shaven and trimmed. For some reason there was one person working the line, so the lady before me and I were waiting for some scruffy couple and their snotty kid to decide, as they went, what everyone wanted. In my head...
I struck up a conversation with a witty remark. We smiled at one another. She turned away from me, but then turned back and made a comment, quietly, about the dirty teens or their snotty kid or the lack of help at a third rate sandwich shop. We chuckled and began talking. I was right, she had just come from an office job. Her day was ragged, she was glad it was over, yadda yadda yadda. I was having sunstroke from having the kids I babysit outside, glad the day was over, just wanted to get home and put my feet up. She said too bad, we could have sat and eaten together. And obviously, we did. At least, that's what could have happened, but alas, what happened in my head was much more like...

FAT OLD BAD TEETH SWEATY FAT OLD LOW INCOME WALK FUNNY LOW MUSCLE TONE MEDICAL ISSUES FAT OLD BAD TEETH LONG HAIR NOTHING TO OFFER ANYONE NOTHING TO OFFER ANYONE NOTHING TO OFFER ANYONE LOW INCOME OLD FAT...(you get the point)...so what REALLY happened was...

I was standing in line behind her, and she turned and started a conversation with a witty remark. She turned back away from me, but a moment later spun back and made a quiet comment about the dirty guy putting his dirty hand on the dirty girl's butt. We laughed. I asked her if she just came from work. She had. She works in a school. I told her I wasn't allowed in schools. Or churches. Or within 300 feet of Ryan Star. She knew who I meant. I told her I loved her. We both laughed, because we both have senses of humor. She asked me if I was rushing home and I told her no. She asked if I wanted to stay at the restaurant (I have trouble calling Subway a restaurant) and eat with her. I did and our dinner of footlong subs and chips went on for three goddamned hours. I gave her my number. We laughed about my phone number and my name, because they're both kind of ironic, or at least humorous. She gave me her number and we parted ways. She was halfway across the parking lot when she got my first text. It was "Just seeing if this number is real or not. LoL" I watched her check her phone, laugh, look back at me and shake her head, then wave goodbye. As I was getting into my own car, I got a text back. "New phone. Who dis?" LoL. Best first text ever.