Ever felt crushed? I'm not talking like" oh you broke my promise" crushed.. I'm talking like someone threw you off the Empire State building and someone broke your fall. Well that's exactly how I'm feeling right at the moment. I should have expected it, and honestly deep down I knew this was going on but hearing it and reality sinking in is a lot different than thinking. So as everyone knows, Aaron and I split up a lil over a week ago. He called me yesterday afternoon to tell me that he had someone else already. I was sure he did anyway but ya know, you don't run around on someone when they're across the country from you. And I'm not stupid, He's already slept with her. You should check the pics on her myspace. Theres NO FUCKING WAY you just lay around the house in nothing and let someone take pics of you. I'm pretty sure hes been fuckin her way before this but I dont understand why he couldnt have just sat me down when he realized that he lusted, liked, wanted her wtfe and told me that way I could have made some kind of plans as to what I was going to do. And Im sure he'll read this and in a while I wont be so mean but im FUCKIN pissed that YOU would bring that slut into OUR home and fuck her in OUR ROOM, on OUR COUCH with pics of OUR SON all over the place and MY stuff through out the house. I FUCKIN left EVERYTHING i had, wanted, earned for and grew up for you and THIS is what i fuckin get in return? Dont forget she just got out of an 8 year realtionship with an even bigger asshole and they were suppose to get married. SHE is NOT over him and you are just her rebound. I dont give a flying fuck how much she denies it. And don't get her pregnant either, it'll go the same way we did. We started to fall apart the very night we went to WalMart to take a pregnancy test. And dont act like we didnt. You didnt want a baby nor the responisbility that came with it and Im sorry. I fucking fought like hell for us for two years after that only for you to go and screw someone else while Im sittin at home watching the baby like a dipshit. Thanks for making me feel so stupid. I loved you and I woulda done anything for you. Noone will ever love you like I did. How many other women do you know that would move across the country on a long shot? I tried and tried. When you changed, I grew to adjust to the new you. I loved you and I love you and I will always love you and i'll be apart of your life forever. But dont expect me to sit around and be nice and quiet about this. Im fuckin pissed to hell and back and then back again that you would do this when you told me that you werent like other guys. Well this is like all the other guys. All it woulda taken was for you to open your mouth and go" hey we need to talk" but no.. We were suppose to be a family.. at least we could have been living in the same state after this. That way Aasyn could have you around and I wouldnt have to watch him run up and down the halls looking for you, calling you all the time, running to the phone hollering Daddy....but whatever makes you happy I guess. Yeah I'm pissed but in the end, as long as you're happy then that's all that really matters. Obviously, I wasn't good enough and my love wasn't enough for you. Just remember that I tried and when I decided to stop, you already had a replacement lined up. We made a promise before we found out that we were having Aasyn that if anything were to happen to us, we would still be friends for our kids. You cannot back outta that promise. Not for me, but for our son. I'm sorry I wasnt enough and I couldnt do enough for you, but one point in time you loved me to the point you couldnt stand to be away from me nor keep your hands off me. So remember that because I can't forget it.
I dont regret it and you shouldnt either, I just wish that it would have ended in a different and much better way.
