criticality — Sunday, May 27, 2007
There's some people that see people offering alternitives, or ways to improve, as the peson is telling them as they are bad or horrible at whater. Just because one isn't perfect at something doesn't mean they are bad, or horrilbe at it, because. no one is perfect at about anything, so that would mean everyone was bad, or horrible at everything. Soemtimes people get insulted at others questioning their perfection.
If i tell someone something, then realize there are some givens.
1- I usually think they have a brain and are smart enought ot understand what I'm saying. If I didn't think they were smart enought to understand it, it would be pointless to say anything.
2- I'm pretty direct in what I say. If I think someone is bad, or horrible person, parent, basketball player, or whatever, I will likly tell them that directly either before or after my othedr critical statements.
3- so to combine the previous two, If I thought they were really that bad, and weren't going to listen or understand, or able to improve, what's the use of talking to them in the first place?
So remember, when taking critisim, they aren't always evaluating your whole peson based on whatever they are criticizing. They are also not likely even saying you suck in that whole area/general catagorie that that they are talking about..
For example: if they say " you could improve on your rebounding by doing this _____ ( whatever it may be ) .It's not saying you are a bad or horrible person. It doesn't mean you suck at basketball. It doesn't even necearily mean you suck at rebounding. They are merely saying you can improve on something. This basic example maybe can't be applied to every thing. Ic can be applied to most things though ( I think atleast. )
So as hard as it my be, try not to get too defensive when being critsized. Learn to appreciate that people care enough to take the time to help you improve whatever aspect they see you can improve. And then you can choose to follow their suggestion, or simply do away with it. But you don't have that choice if you don't know what their criticism is. And just because you don't know about it, doesn't mean it's not there.
