how can it be that one says they love you yet they in one day say and do things that hurt
you all over again. they say they have changed and are better in ways, yet continue to go
off and get mad when they dont get thier way. for the longest time he ignored me, took advantage
of me and my love, ran my heart into the ground and allowed his children to do the same. when
I had enough and was at the end of my line in life and love, I left, and now he says he realizes
what I ment to him, he now wants to show the love and care that I begged for over a year. But am I still the same? Do I want to take my gaurd down and take a chance on him? I did this over and over
again and again, he would change for a short time to appease me then right back at his old ways.
Can I go through that again? Now that I am gone he wants to do all this that I begged of him in the past. Now that I am gone his kids are treating him the way they treated me, he sees that I was telling him the truth and that they was doing the things to me that I told him of because they dont have me to step on anymore they are stepping on him. How can I ease the pain that has been caused? How can I even go on?
I once gave 100 % of my life, 100 % of my heart, 100 % of my everything. I once had only him and I in focous and there was nothing else in the world as important, but that has been crushed and demolished, and now that I realized and left to allow myself to live again you want me to take a chance and go back. How do I even think of this with out protecting my heart?
How can I? I left the damage in that house, the damage that he caused.
I have not taken revenge, I have not spread anger, I have wanted others to know the truth for they have been told bad things about me in what happened and I was made out to be the most horriable person on earth, now How can I forgive? How can I trust in his love again?
I know I am not perfect and never have I claimed to be, I know I done some wrong in the relationship, I took responsibality in that part, I owned up to my part, when you wanted change in me, I changed for you right away. I worked on everything he asked of me. When I wanted it or needed it he refused to act on it. How can I trust in his Love again?
He told me the other day you will not make this mistake in his next relationship, HOW can he say that if he can not answer my questions and he can not see in his own mistakes and pushes onto me what he wants and not care about what I want or how all this has made me feel.
