they are sooo damn generalized they could apply to almost everyone right... but still
Something isn't quite right and it might keep you from relaxing when you need it most. The good news is that if you can figure it out, you can fix the situation in a heartbeat -- so get to thinking!
SOMETHING REALLY ISN'T QUITE RIGHT!!!! Now, lets start thinking... whate ever could it be. Oh, I know. My mascara is clumpng!!! Thats it!! No, wait, I can relax with it... Hmmm, why can't I relax. OOHHH the two hyper lil girls jumping around... hmmm... lmao sorry I had to be a smart ass.
Anyways~ Last night Andrew was texting me until he fell asleep, literally. Like, texting one min, asleep the next. Which, was really very sweet. And then, per a convo we had about him not texting me good night... he messaged me this morning and told me he was sorry for breaking that rule, and not telling me goodnight, but that he just fell asleep. So, I was like, wow... he listens :) We'll see how things go from here though. We had a long talk about all of this crap that happened. He understands how I feel, and what I feel. He says and swears it will never happen again, and says and swears I'm all he wants and that he loves me and never wants to lose me, again. But, I've hit that point I'm getting jealous. Which, is never good. I mean, yeah, I'm possessive, but as long as I know he loves ME I don't care what he does. But now, I'm beginning to question him. ANd, I'm beginning to trust him less than I did. ANd it's hard as hell for me to trust anyone. So to have gained the trust I did w/ him... and for all this to happen. He didn't tell me about all this while trying to get me back, but I told him what happened in the whole day or so we were, split up and in dating limbo. But, now I know about at least part of it. I'm not sure if there's more. He says there isn't... sooo, we'll see. I want to believe that he truly loves me. So, right now. I will believe it until he gives me a real reason not to. I mean, flirting is one thing... some other things are overboard... sooo, this is being taken a day at a time. I love him, so much, and I don't want to lose him. But, i have to protect my heart. And right now, Andrew's at that wall, and I can't let him totally in. I'm too scared he's going to hurt me again. Friday was like, wow. I mean, I knew i'd live, I knew I'd get over him, and find someone to replace him (in the 'man in my life' aspect)... but it was like, I cried because i wanted HIM. I didn't want someone else to love me, cuz like, hello, how many people love me right now? Seriously.... i have like 3 or 4 guys who think they LOVE me right now... I don't just want someone to love me, I want ANDREW to love me. I'm not sure what else to do or say at this point. I love him. with all of my heart. ANd I don't want anyone else but him... I'm hoping he feels the same way, and we can fix all of this...
i guess only time will tell huh??
