Blueflamesroses's blog: "Hope"

Anger courses through me, unrelenting in it's destructive path. Raging wildly taking over all that I know, bringing it's fearsome wrath. No amount of appeasing will calm the fury of this battling storm. The heat it releases changes all that it touches, I watch as all that I love begins to transform. The smiles, the laughs cease in it's mist as the pain begins to radiate through. Such resentment such madness brought on by an anger that no one can undo. Never would I wish for them to see such an exhibit from another, yet here I am displaying what I dispise. No one deserves to feel the anguish that I am sure is being shown through these destructive lies.

I've watched her mature with each passing year. I've held her as she cried, wiped away each tear. I've begged and I've pleaded for God to intervene. I've screamed and I've shouted there's no rest in between. She rages like a river restless and wild. She moves from sad to angry her tempers anything but mild. I've searched and I have prayed looking for an answer as to why. I've questioned myself and everything else with tortured sighs. I wait for the next mood swing to take her gentle manner away. I pray it wont come but I know it will either way. Today an answer came and relief swept through. Yet the blessing is a curse leaving me not knowing what to do.

It is not that I understand nor is it that I want to. It is that I am lost and confused and I can not comprehend the things you do. I watch with wondering eyes as you move from one to another with no thoughts of the danger or the pain. I cry as I see you destroy relationship after relationship leaving nothing left to gain. You my darling, are as mystified as I you know not why you do these things. Maybe you fear the commitment that may be asked, you fear the golden rings. What you have yet to realize is no one has asked that from you, and if they know you they would not. They can see the trepidation that you feel and are happy with the intimacy that together you have got. There is hope somewhere deep down, I can see it when I look into your eyes. You are searching for the answers you need to know the elusive why's. You want as much as any other yet are unable to reach out and take what you so deserve. I only hope that you can grasp your happiness before all of her patience has drained from the reserve.