ARMAN's blog: "Done D1RTY"

Some dude got a month in jail for killing someone while drunk driving.

ONE. MONTH. That's it. I'd spend a month in jail just for kicks. He gets drunk, drives around, kills someone, and gets sentenced to four weeks away from his wife and job. A month in jail is like a vacation. For killing someone. I can think of dozens of people I'd gladly go to jail for a month if I could kill them. The courts should have a limited time special - spend a year in jail for killing a dozen people, and you can run over a thirteenth, free! If I could get drunk and drive my car through a Southern Babtist Church parking lot and mow over 13 dumb redneck motherfuckers, I'd martyr away a year of my life. No problem.

If killing someone gets you a month, what do you get for just drunk driving? A high five? Like "Excuse me sir, could you please step out of the car so that officer Sandford and I can conduct a standard issue high five procedure on you and then you can be on your way."

And yesterday, some guy got a year in jail, not prison, for raping a four year old. The article is a video, so I don't blame you for not wasting time watching it.. I hate watching videos on the internet, I can't skim. You can't skim a video, it's retarded. When I come across a news article in video form, I have to turn down my music, press play, wait for it to buffer or whatever, then when it finally plays, I have to adjust the volume because it's way too fucking loud or quiet, and usually sit through some bogus advertisement for skin cream, like I'm going to buy skin cream. If I gave a shit about the quality of my skin, I'd be outside instead of sitting in my basement watching news articles on a computer. Then it finally plays, I have to sit through the whole video because if I try to skim to the middle, it'll take forever to rebuffer and probably end up showing another ad. Then when it's over, I have to turn my music back on, hurt my ears, adjust volume again. It's a pain in the ass. If I wanted to watch videos, I'd get a TV.

Basically some dude molested a four year old girl and got only one year in jail. Which is absolute madness.

The reason is this- they settled on one year sentence because they were worried that if the court put the child on the stand, she would get nervous and not testify, and the guy would go free. They continue, "This decision makes sense because it is very uncommon for a child to be put on the stand." Oh, good, not only does that make absolutely no sense, but it's not reassuring at all. That just means that basically it is impossible for any child molestor to go to jail for more than a year, because they don't trust the child to testify against him in court. What about off court? Is our legal system that demented that if a four year old can't flawlessly articulate being molested in front of a hundred strangers, the guy gets a minimal sentence and a free haircut?

Why can't they sit the child down in a comfortable room with teddy bears and shit and put the judge and jury behind a one-way mirror? How is that not reasonable?

If the child isn't allowed to testify, and no child is ever allowed to testify ever, how are they ever going to prove anything in any fucken case that happens in the future?

Short of having the police walk in on the guy fucking the kid, or somebody plants a video camera in the room, or if Chris Hansen clones himself a thousand times and goes on a worldwide anti-chomo spree, the most any child molester will ever get is one year in jail. Good news for rapists! One year is nothing. People go to jail for pot for one year. You can kidnap a four year old infant and hold it down and cum inside of it repeatedly, that's cool. Or you can get drunk and drive like a freak and mow people over. That's cool too. But god forbid you smoke a joint and watch Ninja Turtles (The 2D animated version, not the new bullshit 3D version that sucks total ass because they try too hard to make the characters have depth and dimension, while forgetting that they are six foot tall turtles who fight bad guys).

I was thinking.. I could chug a pint of Jack Daniels, drive my giant Buick into a playground, grab a kid off the seasaw, take her clothes off, and proceed to braff around like a fucking lunatic with my dick in the kids ass and, if I happen to get caught, the judge LOLs and gives me 13 months in jail. And assuming I behaved myself in minimum security happy-time party-with-the-guards jail, six months later I can go do it all over again. Totally reasonable.

My keyboard broke and now I'm using this Mac keyboard as a backup. It's all rubbery and I basically have to give the keyboard a deep tissue massage to get any letters to come out so I'm going to stop typing before I get carpal tunnel throughout my entire upper body because of this stupid fucking Mac keyboard that doesn't even have a screenshot key or else I'd put screenshots of those news articles instead of linking to them because CNN will probably take them down soon because they're so god damn embarrassed about how batshit insane our society has become when a guy can get drunk and kill someone and only go to jail for a month. Steve Jobs should spend a month in jail for not putting a print screen button on his keyboards. sdfhsfgjhsdfgjsdjsdrtjsrtjsrtjsrtjsrtjsrtjsrtjsrtjv