Sometimes it hurts me so, to
know that you'll be diving off
that board, saying goodbye
without a care. I wanted to
know what really mattered.
What sparked in your eyes.
I needed to know how I was
drowning before I fell.
Before it ended all swell and
horrid. I started to see the
piercing's in your body, as
you drived more pain into
yourself. The ghosts in
your eyes said to many
apperances, I wanted to just
scream and yell. But I was
roped in by the boyish emo
grin.
The bad boy smile the darkened
eyes, the face I could never
forget. The waters entering
the ship now. I know you’ll try
to save her before she sinks
beneath the sea. I wanted to
break away from the stormy
clouds, to really just let it go.
But I was held back but unbiddened
passion. Scarce freedom. The
hooks and chains that entered
my flesh as my eyes cried for
you. You were my only thought.
Sea-salt rocked like the sea-horses.
The sting was impeccable but I
held on harder. Wanting
everything to swallow me in
and set me high.
I cried my heart out for you, I
hoped you would help me
escape. The hooks, they
ripped my flesh. I saw the
look in your eyes. The gleam
made me forget where I was.
The wave came crashing
down upon us, I was lost
in the water for a moment.
Up I came, the water felt icy
cold. Held my breath, the
sting of the water hurt. The
world grew small but you
held on, you wanted me to
see that I was the sinning
sweet.
The accusing finger was
laid to rest as I knew you
loved me the best. Couldn't
this be a dream this mistake
that riddled the shore. The
gods played with us the
chess pieces of the board.
I was burned, fired to just
shout your named until it
expired. You hands bleeding
from trying to be my salvation.
I wanted so for you to be
the massing hero, on the
top of the knoll.
I knew no other sin, but to say
what I desired to spin. The
pain that laced all my skin,
I didn't even give in. You
needed to see I was trying
to fight. I was trying to lose.
I wanted to disappear until
the waves of the icy breeze.
Of all the fish in the sea,
you came to me. Lifted
me out of the dark lagoon
that held me captive.
Treated me as if I were
the best thing in the world.
You were my hero. Wouldn’t
let me drown.
You pressed lips to lips
letting the air flow, giving
me something to strive for,
I remembered the rolling
nights where we were one.
As my eyes fluttered trying
to see, weary beyond word.
I wanted to see that beautiful
face.
Again I couldn’t make up
my mind. The icy depths
of water calling my name.
you wanting me forever
and ever more. I wanted
both. But I wanted you more.
I grasped your frosty cheek,
and smiled as my lips began
to peel.
I couldn't stand the sunder
that was between the choice.
I still wouldn't tell you how
to work the device. I couldn't
stand it anymore, I struggled
to fight. To decide.
I let it go, and felt the chains
loosen. The noose around
my neck no longer held truth.
I could hear bliss as the cone
of silence begin to flow. Time
stopped as we joined.
My mind went blank, I felt no
more. Had I made my decision?
Everything came back to life.
I saw your smiling face, your
hands holding mine. We were
one, forever. Savior of my soul,
I swooned in your arms, as
the wind froze. It was our
time to be. I could see
everything the biting cold
no longer held.
Overwelmed with love, I knew
it then. You were my star, the
shining of my heart. The swell
in my throat. The throb in my
body. The reason I sit today
holding you tight, saying all I
wanted to say. More then
anything you saved me from saving myself.
The token that kept my
heart beating, the person
that had given my life
meaning. I no longer
felt cold, scared, and
alone. I felt warm, unafraid,
and full of life. No other
person had made me
feel this way.
This was love.
This was me and you
locked together for time.
For this moment I knew
I'd never regret.
Giving you my soul.
