Well, I'm just sittin' here feelin' totally sorry for myself...
How can I be homesick when I'm at home? I'll tell you. I have no family in this town, other than my two girls who live with me. I have my hubbie, his kids, his mom, and the rest of his family and I have some good friends, but it's just not the same. My nearest relatives are a couple of hours away!
Mostly, I miss my old friends from down home. I bonded with them for so many years... there's just no replacing them, and no substitute for the real thing. I remember my past and it's all so far away...
A few of them I still talk to via the internet, but that's nothing like kicking back and shootin' the shit with them. Hell, some of them have kids I've never seen in person, only in pictures... Most of my old friends, I haven't heard from in years.
I'm a four-year+ sober drug addict. I can't go back. So, some of them I've had to say good-bye to forever. They haven't cleaned up their act, and I can't be around that lifestyle anymore. My new friends, they just don't seem to understand. They didn't know me then. They never saw me at my worst, only coming out of it. Anybody out there know what I'm talking about?
And my pops, he moved thousands of miles away... I've followed him around the country my whole life!! This is the first time I haven't followed him. My hubbie doesn't want to move out there... How can you choose between your husband and your father? It's so hard to not just pack up and go. I'd be better off. There are more jobs there and I sure can't find one here in this pissy town!
I spend my days at home alone and my evenings sittin' around doin' nothing but watching tv or movies with the old man and the kids. I have no life and I'm not used to this at all. I'm used to always being busy and always being the center of attention everywhere I go. I'm going stir crazy. Just gaining weight and sinking deeper into a depression, which I can't use drugs to get out of... What am I going to do? Any suggestions would be helpful...
