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moomoo's blog: "Funny"

created on 07/06/2009  |  http://fubar.com/funny/b302603

Home made Vagina

When I was a young lad, I’d get really creative when masturbating. It wasn’t enough for me to grab some lotion and go to town. I wanted to try to replicate the vagina fucking experience as best as possible. Call me the McGyver of masturbation, if you will.

Anyhow, as I mentioned, this story takes place in the early days when I had just started to beat it.

I wanted to create some sort of device that I could have “sex” with that would feel like what I thought a real vagina would feel like… or, at least not feel like my hand. I was too young to know that you could buy masturbation toys (like rubber vaginas), and even if I did know, was I going to ask my mother to buy one for me? No.

One day I got some paper, tape, and tissues together. I made cylinder-like shape with the paper. I was sure to use several layers so that the object would be sturdy. Then, I got a bunch of tissues, and stuffed them inside of the paper cylinder. I suck my finger down into the soft tissuey tube and it felt soft and welcoming!

So, I got the tape out, taped the masturbation object to the floor in my bedroom, and kind of hovered over it with my pelvis. By now I had a boner as I thought ahead to what I was about to do. I positioned my penis right before the cylinder, and went for it. At first, it felt pretty good (I mean it wasn’t my hand for once). But about two minutes in all the tissues were pretty much rammed to the end of the tube and it became less pleasurable. But, I was determined to climax and kept going. By this time I was just about rubbing my cock on bare paper. I didn’t care, I wanted to finish–and a few minutes later I did. When I pulled my wiener out, I saw that I had caused some serious damage to my cock. The sides were bright red and I even managed a paper cut where the top of the tube met the base of my penis. The pleasure was definitely not worth the pain. But even McGyver has his fuck ups, right?

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