So, it has been brought to my attention that there are only 69 more days until Christmas. Woo f'ing hoo. Bah humbug.
All of the holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, etc.. they're all just another day of the year for me anymore. I couldn't care less about them. It seems like something bad always happens between October-December that doesn't permit me to have a Christmas. This year is going to suck even more because it's the first Christmas in a few years without Kyle.
I don't even remember what it feels like to have a REAL Christmas. For the last however many years that I can remember, I haven't really had a Christmas. Granted, Christmas isn't about presents, but when you're a kid and hardly get anything, it hurts. I've dealt with this for many, many years now. So why is it bothering me now so much? I don't know. I guess I should be used to it by now.
As for the whole Kyle thing.. him and I got together right before Christmas '05, so Christmas is something that I'm NOT looking forward to this year. It's just a reminder of what has already happened, and what never will.
I don't even know why I'm writing this. To vent? Probably. In hopes that someone cares? Maybe, although I'm sure not too many people do, but hey, that's ok.
