His fingers caress the softest part of me, teasing, showing me what is to come. He takes his time to make the moment just right. He's gentle, kind, wants to please me. For everything he does right to my body he will never understand that no matter how he touches me, no matter how sincere he is it will never be whole. He might have his whole mind and soul there, but me I'm absent. It's empty and alone just a carnal moment of pleasure to make time pass by. Too much alcohol has clouded my better judgement and I gave in to temptation. He's there but I can't see him, I can't see anyone. My head is spinning but is it the booze or is it the fact I can't stop thinking of you, wishing it was you that was here with me right at this very moment. To him there are feelings and emotions involved, for me it is an empty cold one night fling that will never be anything more. Selfish, mean, shallow, I might be. I would never do something so rash or careless. I'm the good girl who does not make ripples in the water. Then I think of you and all rational goes right out the window. You are my best friend and because of this I can't tell you my deepest feelings or desires. I can't cross that line into more than, what if things don't work and we come to hate one another. I would not be able to live my life without you in it. So if my only option is to have you as just a friend then so be it. I will keep my desires to myself and burn for you secretly.
