"The Voice From Within"
I have been called many things over the years in my practice. A shrink. A therapist. A pill provider. Another bill to pay. But, I consider myself to be a confidant. A listener. An un-biased opinion. Although I am technically a licensed psychiatrist, I do my job to help people and hopefully, they leave my office feeling different than when they walked in. To do this, I find that my list of patients is quite smaller than those of my colleagues. I see only a handful of patients a week. I limit my sessions, but not to one hour. I feel it often takes more than just an hour for a person to really open up to another person, let alone, a stranger. For this reason, I only accept new patients under certain circumstances. I was out having some lunch enjoying my afternoon off when those circumstances happened to fall into place.
“Maureen, it's Stacy.” My best friend sounded frantic.
“Hey, sweetie, what's wrong?” I replied.
“Um, I sorta need a favor.”
“Ok. Is it illegal?” I asked, hoping she wouldn't dare say yes.
“Ha, ha. Very funny. No. It's not illegal.” She said sarcastically.
Stacy had never been in trouble with the law and was generally a pretty PG gal, but her spontaneity had me worried sometimes. Once, I got a call at two in the morning, “Hey Maur, you'll never guess where I am!” She was right. I had no clue. “Paris!” She screamed in my ear. “I was trying to decide how to use my airline miles and I decided to go to Paris. “Tonight?” I asked, still half asleep. “Sure, why not? I'm on vacation, right?” That was the first of many of her spur-of-the-moment travels. At least now, I've convinced her not to call me passed eleven
“So, what this favor?”
“I have this friend and he really needs to talk to someone. You know... like you. A professional. Can we drop by today?”
“Well, I actually freed up my afternoon so that - ”
“- Great! Then you can see us?” She sounded so desperate.
“Of course. You can come by at two. Come by the house though. The office is all locked up.”
“Thank you so much! You're the best. See ya at two.” She hung up before I could even say goodbye.
That was strange, I thought to myself. Normally, I would never invite new patients into my home, but I trusted that Stacy, so I wasn't worried. Well, maybe just a little.
The doorbell rang at ten minutes to two. I opened the door and invited Stacy and a very tall, dark-haired, light-eyed man inside.
“This is Jason Reed.” Stacy said to me. I held out my hand and introduced myself. “Hello, Mr. Reed. My name is Maureen Clemens. Why don't we go out into the sitting area and we can get started.” He seemed a bit nervous. “I've set out some lemonade and crackers.”
Once all three of us were seated and had our cups and plates full, I asked, “So, Mr. Reed. Why don't you tell me what's going on?”
“Please, call me Jason.” He said calmly. “Thank you for seeing me on such short notice. Can you tell me if I'm going crazy.”
“Well, Jason, I have some good news for you. If you can ask if you are crazy then you are not crazy.” I could see him relax a little. He took a sip of lemonade. “So, why do you think you might be going crazy?”
“Uh... um... well, see, I've been hearing this voice. It's not there all the time. Mostly before I fall asleep or in the middle of the night. It started as a whisper, like a breeze and I used to hear it only once in a while, but the voice is starting to grow louder and I'm started to hear it during the day now. I can't understand what he – or at least I think it's a he – is saying. I've gone to my regular doctor and he referred me to a psychiatrist, but he was very uptight and wanted to give me a bunch of pills. I'll take them if I have to, but I wanted to get a second opinion first. Stacy is the only one I've told about this and she just happened to know you – a psychiatrist – so, here we are.” I think he only took one breath the entire summary.
“What sort of medication did the other doctor prescribe? What did he say he thought your diagnosis was?” I asked him.
“Schizophrenia. He gave me Lithium and a sedative for sleep.” He showed me the prescription. Lithium and Seroquel. Pretty high doses of each. “Wow. A little much for just starting out. Why don't you do this. Get the prescription for the sedative filled, but only take half at night before bed. You do need to sleep. I would hold off on the Lithium until I can run a few tests. Do you feel like this voice is something that might cause you to hurt yourself or someone else?”
“No.”
“Then, if you can deal with the voice for a few more days, I'll schedule you to come down to the clinic tomorrow, run some tests and then we'll go from there. You should sleep through pretty much anything with the sedative, but here is my emergency number in case you need to talk to me before tomorrow. I also recommend a healthy dinner and maybe a hot soak in a tub or jacuzzi. Try to stay relaxed. Put on your favorite movie or music and try to clear your mind. It's ok if the voice comes back, but try and not be afraid. It can't hurt you. Listen to it. Maybe you might be able understand what it's trying to tell you. How does that sound?”
“I think I can handle it for a few more days. At least you're being proactive about my situation and for that I am very grateful. Thank you.” I could tell he was somewhat relieved.
“I just have one more question real quick. Have you had anything traumatic happen recently or within the last year?” I asked him.
“I was in a car accident about six months ago. The car I was in flipped down a hill a few times, but I had a CT Scan in the hospital and everything came back negative. They gave me a clean bill of health. I have been having headaches that I never had before, but I figured it was from the stress of this voice I keep hearing.” He replied.
“Did the voice appear soon after your accident?”
“No. It started only about three weeks ago. Do you think it has to do with the accident?” He asked worriedly.
“I'm not saying that Mr.- I mean Jason. These are just standard questions I have to ask. We'll find out more after the tests tomorrow. Now, why don't you go and get that one prescription filled. We'll schedule you to come down to the clinic around ten in the morning. Stacy can give you directions or come along if she likes. Alright?”
“I can come along if you want.” Stacy said to Jason.
“It's ok. I think I'll be in good hands.” Just then, he looked at me with those piercing light blue eyes and smiled. It was the first time he had smiled since he walked through the door. He had a nice smile.
