Evil Angel's blog: "helpless"

What to say.........IDK where to start. I just feel like I ma sitting on the sidelines in everyone I care about's lives. I get told over and over I want you in my life...I need you in my life...idk what i would do with out you in my life. Sounds great right. Who doesnt love to hear things like that. Dont get me wrong it makes me feel wonderful, elated, wanted, needed. But then the reality of it hits, when you sit here night after night waiting for them to remember your still here. they tell me they want me in their lives, but fail to mention...when its convenient for them. So what do ya do? Get angry, get pissed , blow up at them? Or sit like an idiot, hoping to catch the scraps of attention and affection they might eventually throw your way? If someoen has an answer or advice please let me know. You will find me in my season seat...on the sideline

Oh what a shitty day....Warning this is probably gonna sound whiny. Recently a girl messaged me on myspace. Very pretty, nice. We have been coorresponding daily and all was going very well....I thought. Lots of sweet messages, even some very intimate ones. We have even talked on the phone and hav been looking forward to meeting....I thought. She was making her interest in me very apparent. Even leaving messags about thinking about me, how she loved my voice, and a few more personal. We talked last night and everything seemed fine, said cant wait to meet so on.Said have a good night. Then todayI finally get online and found she had deleted me for some reason without saying a word. I give up....never fails. SORRY FALSE ALARM, PC ERROR.

What do you do when soemoen tells you you hurt them and pissed them off. But wont tell you what or how you did? They just keep telling you , you should know and the fact you dont maks it worse. I am losing my fucking mind here. I have racked my brain, I hav tried to rectify what I thought it was, and yet still not right, nothing I say, nothing I do will make them tll me what I did. Now there is no tryst and I dotn aFUCKING know why. The last thing I would ever want to do is hurt this person, I would sooner hurt myself. I dotn play games, I dotn lie to them, and now to know our friendship or relationship rests on my shoulders because of soemthing I did. BUT I DOTN KNOW WHAT I FUCKING DID. then they say , they know I didnt do it intntionally, and they just think they are stupid and cant figure it all out.....FIGURE WHAT ALL OUT. I know I am just rambling her but I am losing my mind. I am not playing any games, not sneaking around spying, not lying, not cheating, I have apologized for comments that hae offended, not meaning them as thy were taken. I dont know what to do...I am gonna los them cus evidentally I am too stupid to figure this out.