They say insomnia makes you feel less real.
Like your mind is somewhere else.
I wouldn't know any different.
I've been so far gone
and for so long...
I wonder if this is what it's like to die.
You're not here, but people remember your glory.
Your shining contribution to humanity.
Unfortunately no matter how long you tread water-
you can't make any headway
the water just lovingly slides up the side of your face
and the cold weariness takes you.
I'm so welcome here in the misery of persistant wakefulness.
The ever-present state of not being me.
Is this what it's like to be dead... or worse?
But as I sink here, thrashing my arms till they go numb, falling rapidly with your weight tied to my ankle,
I look for the light, the hope.
But there is no sign of rescue at the surface.
No end to the dark.
They go numb at my side, I don't even bother to scream or reach upward for salvation.
I just keep sinking.
Under your pressure,
under your expectations.
Under my failed attempts.
... but at least now maybe I can get some sleep.
Please?
