**The following is an actual question given on an LSU chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed or some
variant.)
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the
rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no, souls are
leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you
will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions
and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project
that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look
at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that
in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell
freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,"
and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
number
2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell
has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the
existence of a divine being which explains why, last night,
Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."*