JaceDaLadyBonerDonor's blog: "Dark Days...."

Have you ever noticed how the littlest thing you say could do more damage to someone than good, weather you meant it or not??? the littlest thing you say can set someone back on years of depression and anger... the years they worked so hard to block out so it doesnt effect their every day life...

it truely bothers me that there are people who dont think twice about what they say first.... granted, ive had my share of times ive spoke before i thought, and i would step up and apologize about what i said or what i did.... but there are people who are just so heartless that what they say, even after they find out how much what they said hurt someone, they still cant and wont step up and apologize.... i dont get that.... yeah ima bitch, and ill admit it right off hand and i dont care.... but..... ive never been able to be heartless like that..... 

then there are the people who were your "friends" who thinks you should have taken what was said as a joke..... and its hard to get people to understand the shit youve been thru that makes what was said so bothersom...... and then AFTER you break down and you let your guards down cause you cant take it any more and you tell them the REAL reason why what was said bothered you so much it STILL should have been taken for a joke.....

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU NOT GET WHAT IM TRYING TO TELL YOU??????? IT WONT BE A JOKE AND IT WONT BE TAKEN AS A JOKE BECAUSE IM NOT THE KINDA PERSON THAT WHEN IT COMES TO MY PAST I CAN FIGHT IT BACK AND HIDE IT WHEN SOMETHING IS SAID TO ME THAT BRINGS ALL OF IT UP IN FULL FORCE!!!!! IM PISSED CAUSE NOW I HAVE TO DEAL WITH FIGHTING ALL THAT SHIT BACK INTO MY MEMORY AND "FORGET" ABOUT IT ALL AGAIN!!!!!!!

no im not saying that ive lived the worst life..... i know there are others out there that have lived worse, people that arent even with us in this life because of their life..... yes.... im greatful every day that im sitting here breathing...... hell im greathful for the shit that ive been put thru....... because its all, no matter what it was, has made me the strong and powerful woman i am today.... but thats not to say that there wont be times i break down because of it.... and there are going to be some things that trigger it all back..... but even thru it all.... im STILL... and ALWAYS WILL BE the strong woman i am today!!!! NO ONE will ever be able to break me down to just dust under someones feet......

im proud of my sexuality, im proud of who i love and who ive loved in the past..... im proud of what i stand for.... im proud of the shit ive been thru....... but most of all..... IM PROUD TO BE ME!!!!!

now....... can you say that about yourself thru all the shit youve been thru?????

Janna