sometimes i wonder if its normal to just turn 3 shades to homicidal where just existing makes you want to plow your head through your monitor, how is it that i feel this way? is it because of the drugs i did years ago or am i just fucked up. do normal people live this way waking everyday hoping its the last you have to put up with and you get through it or am i a small percentage that just never acclimated to being a person. detached and furious at what i've become. i know the world doesn't owe me anything but it would be nice to have a day off from the shit storm. and i keep telling myself it'll get better but i don't think it will actually i think it will only get worse but how do you fix something when you know its broken but it seems so unfixable. where do you go when all your dreams and hopes have died and your just a shell going through the motions. at least the lottery still exists and gives me false hope of a better life
