This is as happy as I've ever been. Walking and talking with a smile on my face. Spirit held high and eyes to the sky. Grinning and sinning as I slang my stuff. The world knows no happieness that I have right now. Yet at night I have a blank look on my face. No reason to smile, no reason to grin. Am I truly happy now that I have lost so much? No home and no family, no job and I lost my girl. Still yet, you hear of my happieness. Smiles are all you see on my face, and all you hear are my lies. This is indeed the happiest I have ever been. Peace and serenity comfort you, for this is what I tell you I am. Yet tearing at my heart barbed wire surrounds me every where I go. Smiling through the pain, grinning in the rain. A hallow man without a heart, I need true peace. Indeed this is the happiest you have ever seen me. Dancing the whole way through, I let my foot loose. Sending my pain away so you can be as happy as you want. You think nothing of it and you cheer me on. I feed of your words and you bring me up. These are indeed the happiest times of my life. These are the lies I tell myself every night I lay awake. Forcing myself to smile, making you see my smile. No more can I hold this in, yet I still smile. So I write so you can know. So for now and forever I will smile. All because these are the happiest times of my life. . . .