WHO CAN REALLY SAY WHAT HAPPINESS IS OR ISNT? CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT HAPPINESS IS OR ISNT? WHEN I SEE MY FRIENDS FOR THAT MOMENT I FEEL WHAT I THINK IS HAPPINESS BUT IS IT REALLY HAPPINESS? WHEN I SPEND TIME WITH MY FRIENDS I FEEL WHAT I THINK IS HAPPINESS BUT IS IT REALLY HAPPINESS? WHEN HE SAYS "I GET LOST IN THE BEAUTY OF YOUR FACE OR THE SPARKLE OF YOUR SMILE OR THE TWINKLE IN YOUR EYE", I FEEL WHAT I THINK IS HAPPINESS BUT IS IT REALLY HAPPINESS? WHEN HE SAYS "I LOVE YOU, I WANT YOU, I NEED YOU", I FEEL WHAT I THINK IS HAPPINESS BUT IS IT REALLY HAPPINESS?
HAPPINESS TO ME WAS THE LITTLE BOY I GAVE BIRTH TO AND GAVE TO GOD ALL WITHIN A 4 HR SPAN. I CAN TRULY SAY I WAS HAPPY WHEN I GAVE BIRTH TO HIM AND YES HE BROUGHT HAPPINESS INTO MY LIFE. THE HAPPINESS WAS THE 5 1/2 GESTATIONAL TIME PERIOD THAT WE SPENT TOGETHER. HAPPINESS WAS WATCHING HIM TAKE THOSE THREE TIME LITTLE GASPS OF AIR. HAPPINESS WAS FEELING HIS HEARTBEAT FOR 4 HOURS, BUT MY HAPPINESS ENDED WHEN HIS HEART STOPPED BEATING. YES, WHEN MY SON DIED AT 8:48 AM ON MARCH 12TH, I DIED WITH HIM. WHAT YOU THINK YOU KNOW AND WHO YOU THINK YOU KNOW IS WHAT I WANT AND ALLOW YOU TO KNOW.
THING IS I AM NOT ALONE, THERE ARE MANY WOMEN OUT HER JUST LIKE ME, FOR MANY DIFFERENT REASON OF THEIR OWN. SO YEAH WE GO TROUGH UPS AND DOWNS, MORE DOWNS THAN UPS AND WE HIDE OUR DAMAGED AND SCARRED SOULS BETTER THAN MOST. WE WANT TO BE LOVED BUT WE LOVE MORE THAN WE ARE [LOVED]. WE HURT MORE THAN OTHERS BUT WE HIDE BETTER THAN MOST. WE GIVE MORE THAN WE GET BUT FEEL HAPPINESS WHEN WE GET IT, SO WHEN THAT HAPPINESS IS TAKEN AWAY FROM US WE TAKE IT HARDER THAN THE AVERAGE PERSON.
I DONT EXPECT YOU TO BE LIKE ME OR HAVE SYMPATHY FOR ME BUT THE ONE THING I WILL COMMAND IS YOUR RESPECT AND ASK FOR YOUR EMPATHY.
