Went to mortuary June 15th; Mou's ashes won't be ready until next Wednesday; official death certificates won't be ready until 45 days.
Picked up mail too yesterday; big package from Amazon for Mou: DVDs - Mission Impossible second season, Murder She Wrote sixth season, Rockford Files season four, Diagnoses Murder second season, Ironside season 1 - she loved mysteries, and when she went on medical leave, she and I went to target and got her a (Kawasaki !?!!?) DVD player so she'd have something to enjoy while I worked on my job from hell :(
I *MISS* hearing the monitor (set up a monitor shortly after ML arrived so that I could hear Mou any time she needed me) and her movies - hearing her commenting at/to the varioius mysteries as I worked cannot be expressed in words :(
Today - found out bereavement leave at Sun (company I work for) is only one week. I had confused the leave of absence (without pay, up to 12 weeks and job return guaranteed) with bereavement. Boss emailed me last week and told me to take as much time as I need; submitted vacation request today - but have to be back to work on July 2nd.
Don't know how the hell I can handle that; I'm on autopilot with major interludes of bawling my guts out because I want my Mouzer back and I know that is not possible.
In back yard today; STella out there too - she's been working on Shasta for ages, using the keyword "coo-kie?" with dog treats to encourage him.
I've a major hearing loss, so if I'm not face-to-face, don't count on me comprehending what you say.
I was well into the garage when I could have sworn I heard Martha calling "Wolfie?"
It was STella, saying "coo-kie" to Shasta :(
I know I'm facing more hammering: Reading a funny/word play on the many humor lists to which I subscribe, and instinctively calling out "got a good one Mouzer" - and she's not here for me to share it with her :(
Seeing our fur-buddies doing something that reduces me to belly laughs (happens a LOT) - and going to our room to share it with her - and she's not there.
Went to Agitar (the company for which Mou worked) to attend their memorial for Mouzer -
Can't even begin to express what was shared, anecdotes, how Mou nailed so many of them vis a vis their use of English and so much more -
*I want my Mouzer back and I know that is not possible*
