The thing to remember
when you go to bed
Is hang strings of garlic
high over your head,
So werewolves and vampires
won't come to call.
In fact
you won't get many callers at all
'Cause garlic is smelly,
besides its success
With magical creatures
who visit distress
On humans who read scarey stories at night,
And sleep in their bedrooms
without a night-light.
The thing to remember
when you go to bed
Is putting a cross
at your foot and your head,
'Cause witches and vampire bats
are religious
And touching a sign like a cross
gives them hideous
Goosebumps and warts,
hives, the welts and the itches,
Which nobody likes,
even vampire bats and witches.
But try not to toss or to turn
in your bed.
If you kick off the crosses
you're gonna wake dead.
The thing to remember
when you go to bed
Is watch out for goblins
who munch on your head.
What stops them is water,
so ask for a glass,
Then pour it around
so the goblins can't pass.
Or else make a run
for the bathroom and turn
On the hot and cold faucets
and watch goblins squirm.
As a last chance,
since goblins all fear running streams,
If you don't own a bathroom,
dream water-filled dreams.
So---that's my advice.
Now just turn off the light.
Hope you sleep well the next Halloween Night!
