i'm floating on the edge here and it's been a long couple of days.
sleep schedule fucked and bruises up and down my being, let's start off where it ended.
a slammed door choked me up and the slammer was myself.
a broken promise and an idea i wasn't so fond of.
i always kinda knew it would end with you.
there were only a couple of tears...
the ones rolling down your face and the ones in the plan that ripped apart the atmosphere.
i'm channeling now.
and rushing.
oh god am i rushing.
the water has just gotten warm enough for me to dive right in, but instead of being blue it's covered with leaves from last night.
like it knew we were coming
like it knew i was crying.
like it knew i'd been thrown out of the moving car.
(even though the shiny tin creation was only moving at a snails pace... if moving at all)
"i'm gonna ride the wings"
"i'm gonna fly away"
"i'm gonna take that chance"
and so i do.
i move twenty two in four and i'm careless.
i'm careless.
i'm careless.
i'm terrified
now.
there's a boy on the bed and food in the fridge.
there's a smile on my face and light in my eyes.
there are clothes on the floor bruises covering every last aspect of my flesh.
and that's how it will stay.
that's how it will be.
i will be disciplined and you will be teased.
and we will fuck like there's no tomorrow.
let's try that happiness thing for a second.
we'll skip to the more difficult levels at a later date.
