Phone Call
Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a
bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins
to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello."
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, ...go ahead if you like it."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2004 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$60,000"
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing...the house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too."
The man hangs up .The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.
Then he asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?"
===================================================
Polish Sausage
A man goes into a store and tells the clerk, "I'd like some Polish sausage."
The clerk looks at him and says, "You must be Polish"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Well, yes I am. But let me ask you something."
" If I had asked for Italian sausage would you ask me if I was Italian?"
"Or if I had asked for German bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?"
" Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?"
"Or if I had asked for a taco would you ask if I was Mexican? Would ya, huh? Would ya?"
The clerk says, "Well, no."
"And If I'd asked for some Irish whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"
" Well, I probably wouldn't."
"Well, all right then, why did you ask me if I'm Polish just because I ask for Polish sausage?"
The clerk replies, "Because you're at Home Depot."
====================================================
Where Did We Come From?
A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race begin?' The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so all mankind began with His creation.'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it possible that you told me the humanrace was created by God, and Dad said they evolved from monkeys?'
The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'
