GUY’S RULES
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are "the rules" from the male side.
Please note - These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT, and never will be, mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl now. If it's up, put it down. When is the last time you heard us complain about you leaving it down?
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Like the famous poet, John Lennon once said, "Let It Be".
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying IS blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem ONLY if you want help solving it, because that's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months IS a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago IS inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we.
1. Men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color
Pumpkin is a fruit, not a color
We have no idea what mauve is
1. If it itches, IT will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely ANYTHING you wear is fine...really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics such as the shotgun formation, should the "balk" rule exist, or about
Tiger Woods 6 under par in yesterday’s last game.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank YOU for reading this.
1. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that, because it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can, to give them a laugh - better yet, pass this to as many women as you can, to give them a bigger laugh!
