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Guy Talk Translated

"I'M GOING FISHING" Translated: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety." "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I have no idea how it works." "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND." Translated: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra." "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD." Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Translated: "Are you still talking?" "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES." Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe." "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING." Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon." "I CAN'T FIND IT." Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless" "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Translated: "What did you catch me at?" "I HEARD YOU." Translate: Hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me." "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Translated: "Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving." "I'M NOT LOST ... I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again." "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." Translated: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
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