Okay so most of the people in my world know that I am going into the hospital Thursday July 31 to have a hysterecomy, granted there are a few that do not. I hate to say this but sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't just live with the pain I am dealing with until menopause hits.
I have been seeing doctors for years, yes YEARS over the problems that my monthly vistor brings, I have been given one bullshit reason after another as to what is causing the monthly bitch to be so damn bitchy, the doctors had my history, including my family history. I honestly sounded like a broken record with each new doctor telling them, 'both of my grandmothers had hysterectomies at relatively young ages, I do not know why and my mother had endometriosis and went through menopause at 38.' Did they ever once decide that they should look into this? HELL NO!
What I have been told:
~Stress
~Two Children too close together (how about the fact that I have had this problem before I even had children???)
~Weight gain
~Weight loss
~What are you eating? (food you sorry ass SOB)
~medication (um I wasn't on medication at first)
and yes the list goes on!
Finally with this last round of visits it has been determined that I have endometriosis, oh but it has gone on so long that there is a chance that you will have endometrial cancer. (thanks a ton!)
I have started a new record and I think I will continue, (Ok I understand that YOU have a degree in medicine but what you need to understand is that I am 36 years old and I have a degree in ME!).
So back to the orginal topic, I am sick of the stress that this appointment has caused, the fact that I am feeling alone, the fact that I am broke and can't work and can't get any answers. I am also tired of the pain and sickness that the bitch brings, not sure at this point which is worse!
Is there a time in life where I can say I have had enough!? If so I am saying it now! I have a list of things that NEED to be done and they won't get done cuz I can't fucking do them!
I want to give up and say fuck it!