KrAzY KeN's blog: "grounded for life"

ya know .. i am 47 and its like when i try to get happy.. something falls short. i'm guessing happiness ever after hardly ever happens . i'm getting almost to the point of realizing that i'll be single and unhappy forever .. but i'll make sure others are happy. one day at a time i guess. maybe one day someone will actually take that chance and come through and be real. i know.. i'm asking people on fubar to be real. shhhh its ok lol i understand 

so i'm gonna be a daddy again and you would think i'd be happy... in the long run i'm not because the woman has a issue with committment and being loyal.. especially if ya living with the guy your gonna be having a baby with and dating.. i do please hope guys don't fall for these games or lies or anything that comes close to it.. manipulation is not cool and fighting over stupid shit that would of been so easy to talk about and compromised over.. 

I don't know what in the world i was thinking.. honestly that is the worse $200 i spent in my life.. but never again will i fall for such a person that can't be real about us any where.. you all see her and a flirtatious woman that tries getting what she wants.. and then her personal life she plays the Dr Jeckle Mr Hyde.. be very very careful 

you know i just hate when people think they gotta have my name in their mouth.. ok well damn you better come out with the truth before you go talking about me.. including bringing the proof that wasn't edited cuz hell i don't need to be talking to no one that i haven't been. get off my shit and keep my name out of your mouth

i keep stumbling and falling over my thoughts like i don't pay attention to where i walk.. 

so i keep replaying these thoughts........ would it of mattered if i said i loved you more.. probably not cuz you gave your love to someone else..

would it of mattered if i said i need you more than ever.. probably not cuz you didn't need me that much to turn away from me and walk the other direction. 

would of it mattered if i said i'm lost with out you baby. probably not cuz you found another way to move away from me instead of being near me.. funny thing is that people distract you and you lose sight of things you say or even do.. my biggest question i keep asking myself is, 

Why did she ask me to marry her if she was only gonna walk away from me .. 

I can't answer that .. i guess the most i can say is that she had other plans in store and only cared what she thought was important to her..talking things out isn't important cuz she rather enjoy the game thats being played ... she really don't have to hurt.. just block and move on.. then only one person is getting hurt... me

I'm stuck in my mind.. like i want to just say why should i bother but then i'm like i want to stay and try harder.. my mind is always a fighting battle .. I got a lot of love by why am i fighting myself for the feelings that i have inside me.. i miss her yes.. do i miss the bullshit.. no but i miss her. after all that i have gone through.. why would i want to miss her.. all the questions sit inside my head and nothing ever seems to get answered.. the most i ever hear is .. i'm sorry .. ok cool but it don't ever answer the things i want to know.. oh well i guess i just sit and think of other things in my live.

when someone lies to you,

It's because they don't respect 

you enough to be honest, and 

they think you are too stupid 

to know the difference.

I knew the difference, and caught her .. guess you weren't as smart as you thought you were

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you're going to mess up sometimes, it's a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you're going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they'll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, some go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they're your true best friends. Don't let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they'll come and go too. And baby, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can't give up because if you give up, you'll never find your soulmate. You'll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn't mean you're gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life's a beautiful thing and there's so much to smile about.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“But better to get hurt by the truth than comforted with a lie.”
― Khaled Hosseini

“The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, 

“This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.”
― George V. Higgins, The Friends of Eddie Coyle

“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.”
― Michael Cunningham, The Hours

“Don't be pushed around by the fears in your mind. Be led by the dreams in your heart.”
― Roy T. Bennett, 

I figure these life quotes always mean something.. I believe if its meant to be, it'll be.. but i know once ride or die.. will always be there till the end of time

I"m so sorry I loved you for so long. I'm so sorry i kept trying to hold onto you when it was obvious that you didn't want me in your life anymore.  All you wanted was to be set free and i think i have finally learned to let you go. Not because i want to, but because you're happy without me. And all i ever wanted was to make you happy. 

these damn memes ya read of fb lol puts a dagger right in ya heart don't it

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you 'til it hurts
I know you're hurt too, but what else can we do?
Tormented and torn apart

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart
For times when my life seems so low
It would make me believe, what tomorrow could bring
When today doesn't really know, doesn't really know

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home
Away from these long lonely nights
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem, oh, so right?

And what would you say if I called on you now?
And said that I can't hold on
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me, or I'll be gone, I'll be gone

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

Oh, what are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?
What are you thinking of?

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late, I know I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late, I know I was so wrong

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you
I know you were right, believing for so long
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong

(I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you)
(I know you were right)

I don't think with being single is bad, but it does get lonely. I do wish i had someone to love up on and give my attention to. but then again i can't be yelled at for not doing what ever a person wants.. but yeah i'd love to have a relationship. i'm a great guy just feel like i get taken advantage of because of my good nature. a little krazy i am but yet i am sweet and one of those awesome guys thats hard to find.. well thats the single life i guess