Have you ever felt like you have nothing...yet you do have so much? Have you ever felt like chasin something that you feel you've been missing your whole life, but there are so many things that could and should hold you back? Have you ever wanted something so bad that you would risk anything to have it even though you hardly know anything about it? Have you ever realized that , that something doesn't really want you as much as you want it. Have you ever felt like the whole world is trying to drive you to the edge and then push you off? Have you ever felt like saving it the time of pushing you and just jump on your own? Have you ever felt like your living to die? Have you ever felt like theres just nothing else you could possibly take on...and then more stuff just keeps piling up on you just to keep you down. Do you ever wonder if its ever gonna change?..Do you ever wonder if your ever gonna be happy in life? Do you ever wish you could just disappear? Do you really think that theres one person in the world that can change everything and make it better forever? Everyone is supposed to have a soul mate, right....but nobody stays together. So how is that really true? A soul mate is supposed to complete you, so what comes when they're gone? No one lasts forever, eventually they leave. You always have your children, but all that my children can see inside of me is pain and anomosity. After so much of seeing me in that way...there probably gonna grow into the same person that I am. Everything that I do affects my kids. So therefore I should take the risk of leaving and starting all over with my life. Its worth a try to find happiness somewhere...at least for my boys. Otherwise they will grow to think that this is the way theyre supposed to be when they grow up. I need to be here for my kids and if I dont change something now, I dont think I'll make it too much further. So I guess I gotta do what I gotta do......for me and my boys!
