so im almost ready to pop with my daughter..i have about 4 weeks left. yay. but theres a downside..things arent the greatest and mom has decided that march 1st i am moving back to NJ with her...i dont really want to but apparently im not allowed to make my own decisions..never have been...shes always decided for me and it was her way or no way and here we go again..so im leaving my life up here behind...its killing me to pack my things. I cry even harder with every box i pack. i wish i could have a miracle happen so i can make things different...seems like things arent getting better they keep getting worse..one thing after another keeps going wrong. so here i am 25 and going back home because my mother wont let me live my life myself and if i dont comply and go my life will be hell regardless....once i get back ill never be able to leave as i cant afford to live in nj and i know that my mom will refuse to allow me to put the baby in daycare so ill be limited to what hours i can work...she works midnights and sleeps in the AM...ill be able to work from like 1 to about 7 or 8 which wont be a full time job and im an office worker...no offices are open after 5 really and they dont have positions open for part time for the most part....so ill be making 8.00/hr working at a supermarket....worst part is im leaving behind an 12.10/hr full time job with benefits because of my mom....im also giving up my home and my friends and the life i created up here for myself to go back to nj and have nothing all over again........keep me in your prayers and hope for a miracle for me...
