Q.What's a bear's favourite Christmas carol?
A. God Rest Ye Merry Gentle Ben!
While on vacation in Africa, a LazyBoy salesman became separated from his tour group. After several days in the jungle he was rescued by a tribe of natives. They fed and watered him and cared for him until he was well enough to return to the tour. As a token of his gratitude he had two recliners sent to the chief and his wife. The two were very impressed and replaced their stone thrones with the recliners. The thrones were stored in the attic of their hut. A few days later, while holding court, the heavy thrones crashed through the grass ceiling killing the chief and his wife instantly. The moral of the story is:
People in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
This guy staggers into his house, exhausted after playing golf, and drops his clubs on the floor. "What a day!", he exclaims. His wife asks what happened. He responds, "Well, there we were on the first tee, when George had a heart attack and died."
"Oh, how awful."
"Yeah, the whole rest of the day it was: Hit the ball ... drag George ... hit the ball ... drag George. ..."
Q. What does Han Solo use to do online Chinese cooking?
A. An E-wok.