flu's blog: "world tour"

so as you all know, i went to sleep last nite intending to turn up my radio, try to keep my mind off stuff and drive all day today. but. fate, it appears, would intercede. 'bout an hour ago, i started to hear a funny sound. even above the ear splitting music that was punishing my eardrums. i reached to turn down the music and my heart sank. i knew wut it meant in an instant. someone would soon be taking my money to fix it. i prayed to st. christopher to let this be something i could afford to fix today that i may be able to continue my journey. but. my prayers fell on deaf ears. maybe. maybe there's a reason i can't see why i'm stuck here. waiting till tomorrow for some place to open up that has the part i need. maybe by being stopped here today, i'm avoiding a life threatening situation further up the road that will have passed by tomorrow evening. maybe i'm suppose to meet someone here today that i needed to meet. who knows. on my way here today, i was feeling a bit down despite the sun that was shining and the road that i had mostly to myself. then i saw a man standing at the bottom of the off ramp as i drove past in my warm cab with my radio blarring. he was holding a sign. i couldn't see wut it said but i imagine it said something like 'cold, hungry, anything will help. god bless'. and i felt less miserable for a moment. i figured if he chose to come to work today, there's no reason i should be miserable about my decision to do the same. then the radio guy, between songs was yammering on about sum holiday crap, when i heard him ask.. 'wut r u thankful for today?' so i got to thinking about it. while i'm here alone and the only contact i've had today with folks i love was quite hurtful, (due to my own poor judgement and lack of good morals, so don't go feeling sorry for me) and i'm truthfully homeless, and recently broken up from a really wonderful girl, and broke, and well, i could go on.. BUT it could be worse. i could have slept under an overpass last nite. i didn't. i could have gone to bed hungry last nite. i didn't. i could be locked up in jail right now. i'm not. yet. but i think the thing i'm most thankful for are the people i've had the good fortune throughout my life to have met and learned from. every woman i've ever fallen in love with, i've always learned so much from. my closest friends the same way. sometimes strangers. even my family. my grandpa said to me one time while we were working on an old tractor 'nuts and bolts are like women. when they squeak, they're tight!' he was a funny dude in his own sort of way. my other grandpa told me once, on speaking of grandma: 'wutever mama wants, mama gets.' he was married to and loved one woman his whole life. my uncle said to me one day when i was maybe 12 or 13 while we were bumping along in his log truck 'did u know that girls play with themselves just as much as u do?' i wish i had thanked him for telling me that at some point. it opened up a whole world to me. my brother. growing up, he really pissed me off. anything i could do, he could. no big deal, right? well he was two yrs younger than me. so anything i would accomplish in life, he would steal my thunder by accomplishing the very same thing only he did it when he was two yrs younger than i did. when i got older, i learned a valuable lesson from that experience. he said to himself 'anything he can do, i can do'. and i've adopted that mindset into my own life. very empowering stuff. i miss those guys. but i'm sure thankful to have met them all. and i'm thankful that i woke up this morning. i would hate to have missed this wonderful day.