I just don't understand. The more I try to make people happy, the more unhappy they seem to become. I just want to make the people I care about, feel important and loved, but it always seems to backfires. At first it is all good, then slowly they grow more distant, they start telling you stuff like you can do better or they offer some other alternative to themselves. If you don't want me, just tell me, I may be upset at first, but I will get over it. Don't string me along to protect me, that is like torture. I would rather be devastated for a short time and move on, then kept hanging on, to some light at the end of the tunnel, that isn't really a light, but some optical illusion. When I love/like/hate someone, I do it 110%. I guess most people can't handle that. I'm starting to wonder what is wrong with me. Am I too intense or just unlucky? I am just so tired....I start the race in the lead, but I always seem to lose. I feel like just giving up and not running this damn race anymore. It is like being on a treadmill.... it is a whole lot of work and effort to get no where.
