Kaosfactr's blog: "Absolute Kaos"

Welcome to earth, welcome to FUBAR, and for those who are non-U.S. welcome to America...the U-S-of F'n A.  We like celebrating small, minuscule reasons and when the day comes we sometimes celebrate without even recognizing WHAT we are celebrating or consideration for the views of as a whole.  Take today, May 25th 2009...Memorial Day for us Americans. This holiday is supposed to recognize our military and especially our fallen.  For the record, I do not bleed red, white, and blue...but I greatly respect our military deeply especially those who are fallen and those who are serving simply because politics has a plan for everything but how to bring our brothers and sisters in arms home.  For many of you who are celebrating, you are probably going to go to some parade or some festival that is going to barely recognize our military period.  Even fewer of you are truly going to dedicate yourself to paying tribute by visiting a memorial.  But that is just an example.  Let me give you more examples of our many other holidays here. Some I am just going to wrap up by real reason.

Drinking holidays - America and fubar's favorite reason:

New Years/New Years eve

Cinco De Mayo - besides to drink ourselves under the table, why else is one country (the US) celebrating the Independence Day of another?

Mardi Gras - flashing, drinking, sex...perfect for celebrating the Day before Lent.  Everyone knows Mardi Gras, few know Lent.  Basically Mardi Gras gras is a holiday that allows for maximum sin before Catholics devote themselves to religious purity.  I just hope you remembered EVRYTHING you did while plastered so you can repent!

St. Patrick's day - Green Day wrote a song called Holiday...well this is a Holiday that is basically Green Day.  Wear green!  Drink green!  Who's St' Patrick again?

Halloween - Dress like someone else, something else, and drink!  You literally won't know who or what you hooked up with!  While you are nursing that hangover with either a hooker, pimp,  or someone dressed like one maybe you can come up with what this holiday is about.  Give up?  Talk to me and I'll fill you in.

Military and US "feel good" dates:

Labor Day, Memorial Day, 9/11 (yes I did just go there), July 4th, Predident's Day/Washington's B-Day, Lincoln's B-Day (news flash!  they're dead...no more b-day celebrations needed!), D-Day, Pearl Harbor Day, Vetran's Day.  Now there are a select few that deserve my direct attention....

Columbus Day-The guy was looking for an easier route to India for traders (hense the term "Indians") and "discovers" a place that is already inhabited.  Not much a discovery, right?  Let's give him a holiday and call him a discoverer!

Election Day- Not an exact celebration, just a bunch of misguided political pains trying to lay a guilt trip for not electing. To quote late George Carlin, "where do people think these politicians come from? They don’t fall out of the sky; they don’t pass through a membrane from a separate reality. They come from American homes, American families, American schools, American churches, and American businesses. And they’re elected by American voters. This is what our system produces, folks. This is the best we can do. Let’s face it, we have very little to work with. Garbage in, garbage out.  Ignorant citizens elect ignorant leaders, it’s as simple as that. And term limits don’t help. All you do is get a brand new bunch of ignorant leaders.  So maybe it’s not the politicians who suck; maybe it’s something else. Like the public. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: “The public sucks. Elect me.” Put the blame where it belongs: on the people.  Because if everything is really the fault of politicians, where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans who are ready to step in and replace them? Where are these people hiding? The truth is, we don’t have people like that. Everyone’s at the mall, (goofing around) and buying sneakers with lights in them.” … “For myself, I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way. On Election Day, I stay home. Two reasons: first of all, voting is meaningless; this country was bought and paid for a long time ago. That empty shit they shuffle around and repackage every four years doesn’t mean a thing.  Second, I don’t vote, because I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. I know some people like to twist that around and say, “If youdon’t vote, you have no right to complain.” But where’s the logic in that? Think it through: if you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent politicians, and they screw things up, then you’re responsible for what they’ve done. You voted them in. You caused the problem. You have no right to complain.  I, on the other hand, who did not vote—who, in fact, did not even leave the house on Election Day—am in no way responsible for what these politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess you created. Which I had nothing to do with. Why can’t people see that?  Now, I realize last year you folks had another one of those really swell presidential elections you treasure so much. That was nice. I’m sure you had a good time, and I’m sure that everyone’s life has now improved. But I’m happy to tell you that on Election Day I stayed home. And I did essentially what you did. The only difference is when I got finished (playing with myself) I had something to show for it."

Thanksgiving - This in its truest essence is Glutton's Day. Let's eat ourselves full because we can but we'll say we are doing it because it is Thanksgiving.  We even soften this day as a day to give thanks.  What the core it is a holiday where early America settlers made the most peace they ever did with the American Indians (thanks again Columbus) and had dinner.  We all know how the "new residents"-"current residents" relationship went from there.

Lastly let's not forget our lovely Economic Stimulus Days:

Mother's/Father's Day-Buy him a tie.  Buy her roses.  Get them cards.  Maybe SHE is the only one who deserves on for doing all the work delivering you?  Maybe you have a bad relationship with either or both of your parents?  Either way you cut it, it is a waste of two days of the year.

Easter- You HAVE to get candy and a nice "Easter outfit".  Isn't this supposed to be a religious holiday regarding the Resurrection of Jesus...the story Mel Gibson made a Hollywood movie out of?  Tell me again how it is the Easter bunny leaves EGGS.

Valentine's Day- St. Valentine wed people against the King's orders and gets executed for it.  So this means you girls get the right to be treated to flowers, jewelry, chocolate, and an expensive dinner?

Christmas/Kanza/Hanukkah-"What'd you get?","What'd you buy?","What do you want?".  Somewhere someone lost that this is a religious time.  That or some merchant got uncomfortable that their marketing time was tied to religion.  Enter X-MAS!

Don't get me wrong, I like a good party or festival as much as the next.  I just don't like that we are trying to lie to ourselves so we can have an excuse to celebrate.  Besides, not everyone wants to celebrate your day for your reason.  Is there really a reason that makes a day "more special" than the rest?  If you want to recognize a day, recognize it.  If you want to drink, eat, or party; do it. Aren't we supposed to treat everyday as a new day and a celebration of life itself. On that note, have a good day and