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German Beer

German Beer Current mood: mischievous Category: Parties and Nightlife

I like Bush better than Hiney .. Having spent a couple years in Germany, I can assure you that the Heineken they try to pass off as German beer and send over here is NOT on the top of the hit parade over there.
There's a monastery.. near a little town called Wildflecken. It's called the Kloster Kreuzberg and they have been brewing beer since 1731. It's really dangerous beer. I arrived in Germany, and then to Wildflecken on the 4th of July weekend in 1984.
When I got to the barracks ( dorm ) it was like.. Saturday morning early. I got my stuff stashed in a locker and had changed clothes and was gonna go check out the scenery to see what was up. As I was just about to leave the CQ ( guard - desk jockey - after hours phone boy ) tells me that my platoon sergeant had called and that I should wait for my squad leader who was coming to get me and take me to a platoon meeting.
Oh shit.. now I'm stuck with one of these egotistical assholes who thinks I need to work all weekend too. So I waited and suddenly here's this fruitcake in a red white and blue leather outfit comes ZOOMING up outside and slides to a stop in the middle of the street with an endo 360 on a Ninja. Wow.. cool.. must be part of a show. 
Nope it was Dan Rodda the aforementioned squad leader and oh so lucky for me (tic) he had a spare helmet.
Oh shit.. I'm gonna die today.
Are you the new guy? Yes my name's SGT Michaud.. but if you're gonna get me on the back of that bike you're definitely gonna have to call me Otis. Mine's SGT Rodda but you can call me Dan in civvies. Hop on we gotta go to the monastery for a meeting. Reluctantly.. I got on. As I suspected .. this was definitely some manner of initiation.
Despite the fact that it was July it was somewhat chilly.. and the breeze at that altitude cuts like a knife anyway. But we cut a pretty steady 80-90 mph on the autobahn for about 20 miles.. and then started to climb a mountain that just as step and long as the 5 mile downhill run we had done before getting on the freeway. 
Cobblestone streets were not made for motorcycles.. I don't care what anyone tells you.. it's not a good thing.
Finally we arrived at the top and I fell off the bike and collapsed in a shivering fit. Dan remembered I didn't have leathers on. Oh man.. sorry about that.. should have told you it was gonna be a little brisk. When I finally thawed out it was time to go meet the platoon sergeant - SSG Vincent.
We entered into this enormous hall.. the monastery was like a huge castle almost at the top of the mountain but they had a long hiking trail with decorative sconces scattered along the trail behind and around the castle.. leading up to the actual pinnacle which was a cross ending the depiction of the path to calvary.
SO .. we go into this huge building and there are HUNDREDS of people everywhere. Long wooden tables formed 5 rows and 6 columns .. each of the tables like.. 20 ft long. It was a BIG room is what I'm trying to get across here. I maneuvered around trying to keep up with Dan who obviously wanted to get this chore over with and get on about his business.
He led me to where the whole platoon was seated at one end of a table.. he introduced me to everybody and I sat down. Dan waved to SSG V and went on about his merry way. Thanks for the ride. We sat and I drank like.. 3 of 4 liters of this beer.. the first one was so delicious... it was dark and cool but not cold.. and it went down like koolaid.. it was thick.. almost like syrup.. and man did it ever taste good. I slammed a whole liter stein of it in about a min and they told me I needed to pace myself a little.
I had 4 down in about 10 min and from that point forward.. things got "a little foggy" .. 'cause I had to go find a place to pee... it's beer!! ... anyway. I stood up and things went a little woozy.
I don't remember exactly what happened for the next 72 hours..but I'm told that I had a good time. I woke up Monday morning in my brand new platoon sergeant's living room floor.. using his rotweiler for a pillow.  Good thing the dog was friendy

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