I'm tired.
I'm so fuckin tired.
I'm tired of being lied to.
I'm tired of being taken advantage of.
I'm tired of people KNOWING they can take advantage.
I'm tired of my phone ringing.
I'm tired of emails.
I'm tired of message's.
I'm tired of people asking thing's of you that they KNOW they will never do for you.
I'm tired of allowing it.
I'm so fuckin tired.
I'm pissed off.
I'm so fuckin pissed off.
I'm pissed off that my true friend has to ask me what's wrong with her because everyone tries to use, lie to, take advantage of, manipulate her or just do her dirty in any creative way they seem to find.
I'm pissed off that I have to see her struggle with herself to find that Bitch in her we all have just so she can get through one more date(that odd's are will end fucked anyway cuz let's be real...most men aint shit) without leaving with her feeling's hurt.
I'm pissed off that I have to tell her that all that goodness inside of her(trust, faith, love, honesty, no bullshit personality) is a negative in today's world because fucked up people will use all that against her and she need's to cut all that off to avoid being hurt.
I'm pissed off that all that shit has already been cut off inside of me.
I'm pissed off that I will probably never meet another decent person again in my life because I now believe they all aint shit. It has been ground into me by tooooo many dirty ass folk's.
I'm pissed off that she still believe's in the good in people.
I'm pissed off that I don't.
I'm pissed off that she still believe's there are people out there who won't hurt her.
I'm pissed off because I know there are.
I'm pissed off at everyone of them who are going to cause her pain.
I'm pissed off because I know I will feel it to. When she hurt's...so do I.
I'm tired.
I'm so fuckin tired.
I'm tired of being the one people call for help.
I'm tired of knowing I have only 1 I can call.
I'm tired of knowing that I will never make that call.
I'm tired of waiting for the next disappointment in my life.
I'm tired of knowing it's coming soon.
I'm tired of knowing that I won't stop it.
I'm tired of knowing who it will come from.
I'm tired of knowing.
I'm done.
So fuckin DONE!!!
I'm so done allowing myself to feel other's pain.
I'm so done feeling my own.
I'm so done with not being able to cry.(No matter how bad I want to...I think they took all the tear's I could afford to give...now I am just dry.)
I'm so done with forgiving.
I'm so done with listening to endless excuses that really don't excuse any fucking thing.(Seriously? I'm sorry? Does anyone believe that shit actually work's? If you were sorry...you wouldn't have done whatever you did you had to apologize for...fuckin idiot's. Tell me your sorry one more time...Please tell me that stupid shit again!!!)
I'm just DONE.
I want quiet.
I want me time.
I want what you can't seem to find.
I want to let go.
I want to hold on.
I want to trust people.
I want nothing.
I want everything.
I want what you can't give.
I want what you take from me.
I want yesterday.
I want to forget today.
I want to see tomorrow.
I want to smile.
I want to laugh.
I want to forget why I don't.
I want to forget you.
I want you to let me.
I want...too much. What I really want most out of it all? I want yesterday. I want back then. I want what I had...and couldn't see. I want one more day. Just so I can hold on for a lil longer. I would hold on for eternity. I want...to not know that back then is gone. I can't get it back. No matter who and what....I can't do anything to take back what I wanted more than anything. I can't take back that I let it go.
So many dream's accomplished. So many wishes fulfilled. So many desire's felt. Yet, my want's? I'll never receive. For that person no longer reside's on this earth. That person is gone. That person left. That person who never got a chance. My fault. I never gave that person the chance. I never knew how. Now I do.....but that chance is gone.
I'm tired.
I'm so fuckin tired!!!!!!!!!!!!
