General Blog by Fyre Science Gyrl
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Fyre Science Gyrl's blog: "General"

created on 12/02/2006  |  http://fubar.com/general/b30591
FIRST DEGREE Boudreaux and his wife were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. Boudreaux picked up the phone, listened a moment and said: "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up. The wife said, "Who was that?" Boudreaux answered, "I don't know, some man wanting to know if the coast is clear." SECOND DEGREE Two Cajuns are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. He opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second Cajun says, "Here, let me see!" So the first Cajun hands him the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!" THIRD DEGREE Boudreaux suspects his wife of cheating on him, so he goes out and buys a gun. He goes to his house unexpectedly and when he opens the door he finds her in the arms of a redhead. Well, Boudreaux is really angry. He pulls out the gun, and as he does so, he is overcome with grief. He takes the gun and puts it to his head. His wife yells,"No,honey, don't do it!!!" Boudreaux replies, "Shut up, you're next!" FOURTH DEGREE Boudreaux was bragging about his knowledge of state capitals. He proudly says, "Go ahead, and ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?" Boudreaux replies,"Oh, that's easy: W." FIFTH DEGREE What did the Cajun girl ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?" SIXTH DEGREE Boudreaux, a Cajun in his fourth year as a LSU Freshman, sat in his US government class. The professor asked Boudreaux if he knew what Roe vs Wade was about. Boudreaux pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crosse the Delaware " SEVENTH DEGREE Returning home from work, Boudreaux was shocked to find his house ransacked and burglarized. He telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, Boudreaux ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting his face in his hands, Boudreau moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman." OK. Now forward this to someone else who needs a laugh today
Q.What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A: A cherry float. Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? A: 1 US leader Q: What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? A: Beat it - we're closed. Q: Why do walruses go to Tupperware parties? A: To find a tight seal. Q: What's the difference between sin and shame? A: It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out. Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around. Q: Why did Raggedy Ann get thrown out of the toy box? A: She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!" Q: Why is air a lot like sex? A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. Q: What's another name for pickled bread? A: Dill-dough. Q: Why are Monica Lewinsky's cheeks so puffy? A: She's withholding evidence. Q: What's the difference between light and hard? A: You can sleep with a light on. Q: Why is sex like a bridge game? A: You don't need a partner if you have a good hand. Q: What's the definition of macho? A: Jogging home from your own vasectomy. Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common? A: Their balls are just for decoration.

GOTTA LOVE THIS ONE! MAXINE'S LIVING WILL Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket I, MAXINE , being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it, or lawyers / doctors interested in simply running up the bills. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following: Glass of wine chocolate Margarita chocolate Martini Cold Beer chocolate Chicken fried steak cream gravy chocolate Mexican food chocolate French fries chocolate Pizza chocolate ice cream cup of tea chocolate Chocolate Sex Chocolate It should be presumed that I won't ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.

BITCHOLOGY When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch. When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch. When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch. Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch. The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid, or when I act a little selfish. It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be. I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that! So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed. And if that makes me a bitch , so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it. B - Babe I - In T - Total C - Control of H - Herself B = Beautiful I = Intelligent T = Talented C = Charming H = Hell of a Woman B = Beautiful I = Individual T = That C = Can H = Handle anything

this is something that we all should try to make an effort to do to support our troops even if we don't support the cause behind it anymore.

For all of our other military personnel, where ever they may be. Please keep this message going to support all of the troops defending our Country. KEEP IT LIT! And God Bless and Light A candle for our Military who are protecting our Country for our freedom. PLEASE KEEP IT GOING TO YOUR FRIENDS "This is the day that the Lord hath made, rejoice in it" I watched the flag pass by one day, It fluttered in the breeze. A young Marine saluted it, And then he stood at ease.. I looked at him in uniform So young, so tall, so proud, With hair cut square and eyes alert He'd stand out in any crowd. I thought how many men like him Had fallen through the years. How many died on foreign soil How many mothers' tears? How many pilots' planes shot down? How many died at sea How many foxholes were soldiers' graves? No, freedom isn't free. I heard the sound of Taps one night, When everything was still, I listened to the bugler play And felt a sudden chill. I wondered just how many times That Taps had meant "Amen," When a flag had draped a coffin. Of a brother or a friend. I thought of all the children, Of the mothers and the wives, Of fathers, sons and husbands With interrupted lives. I thought about a graveyard At the bottom of the sea Of unmarked graves in Arlington . No, freedom isn't free. Enjoy Your Freedom & God Bless Our Troops
~Kiss on the stomach = Im ready ~Kiss on the Forehead ="i hope we're together forever" ~Kiss on the Ear = Your my everything ~Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends" ~Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you" ~Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together" ~Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you" ~Kiss on the Lips = I like you" What the gesture means... ~Holding Hands = "we definitely like each other" ~Slap on the Butt = "That's mine" ~Holding on tight = "i don't want to let go" ~Looking into each other's Eyes = "you're amazing" ~Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me" ~Arms around the Waist = "I like you too much to let go" ~Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you"
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