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What are you waiting for?
Well he finally got a hold of me today. He was in the hospital for a week. Poor thing. I'm so glad he's ok. But when it comes to him I can be so selfish. All I worry about is that I can talk to him. I never think something bad could happen.
Anyway, I gave him the news about Jason giving up half the money for a ticket. I told him he just needs a one way ticket because when he gets here, I'm not letting him go. He's really excited and is gonna get the money as fast as he can.
I can't wait. He's what I've been waiting for my entire life. And hopefully soon, all my dreams will come true.
My best friend Jason just got back from Iraq after a year. He called me to go out with him last night. He then told me he was going to ask Em to marry him. I was so excited. Em is the first girl that ever saw Jason for everything that he is. I liked her the first time I met her. I love her because she loves him the way he has always deserved to be loved. He showed me the ring when I dropped him off at home.
Then we sat outside talking for a while. He then asked me how my love life was going.. he's always wanted for me to be happy as well. I reminded him of Gavin.I told him what was going on right now. He just watched the expression on my face as I talked.
He said," I tell you what, if you two can get half the money together to get him here, I'll front the other half." I tried arguing about it, but I should know by now it does no good. I was so excited I was beside myself.
The only problem now is, I haven't talked to Gavin since Thursday. The phone service I have doesn't work half the time. I guess I really need a new one, but I don't know what to get. I HAVE to et a hold of him asap though!. Please cross your fingers that I can get a hold of him soon!
Well since my last update, I had almost given up. So I thought. I would still write offline messages in attempt to reach him. I eventually gave up on that too... so I thought. I don't know why, but the other day I decided to try and write him again. To my shock, He wrote back last night and I missed it. I was pissed! But I finally got a hold of him on the phone today, and was trying to fight back the tears of joy i had just to hear his voice again. I just now got off of the messenger with him. i told him about the blog and sent him the links. He was tearing, up he said. I'm a complete mess right now.. I'm still sopping up tears.
So, he told me that he had cracked, and got scared. After some time went by, he was scared to write me in fear that I had a boyfriend. He did't think I'd want to talk to him again.
We had this discussion before. I don't care what I have going on in my life, I will always want to hear from him. Even if I DID have a boyfriend... If he showed up at my door.... boyfriend would be gone.
I suppose this has to be true love. I don't go one day without thinking of him. I have tried to date, but I can't ever fully give my heart to another.
He was seriously contemplating doing something illegal to get the money to get here to me. Ha! He said he thought about just showing up at my front door one day. I told him I'd probably pass out.
What I wouldn't give to see him again. I would grow a left nut just to give it, to see him again. but tickets to Australia are astronomical! And I can't afford to take time off from work. I almost feel like starting a "Get Me to Australia" fund.
I suppose then, I'll have to see how this goes. I made him promise not to leave me again. I have died a little each time he disappeared. We shall see...
(to be continued?...)
UPDATE: I talked to him last night. His Birthday is October 12. The Aussie dollar has gone up and tickets to here are 1300. He really wants to get back here to me. SO cross your fingers on this too. This would be the best year of my life if everything that is going on right now came together.LA happened in November. When he left, I felt incomplete. We kept in touch as much as possible. He had issuess with his phone, and whatever service I'm using to call him is crap because I have a hard time getting through to him. I never know when or if it's going to work. There was a period of time I thought he was gone. His Uncle had cancer. I knew this. He was going to try to get back here in time for my birthday. He had been saving since he got back home. Well, when he disappeared, I assumed he was over me. A month later I heard from him. I was overwhelmed with emotion. I was sobbing uncontrolably. He thought it was out of sorrow or anger. I was surprised myself to find it was out of happiness. I didn't care that he had disappeared. I was only greatful and happy that he was back. His Uncle HAD in fact died. He had gone to Queensland to take care of his family. I completely understand that. So now we are up to date. I haven't been able to get a hold of him again. I'm still having issues with the phone. And his computer has been broken for some time. Although I don't know how this story will end... I think of him daily. I never believed in a soul mate before; but I believe it's him. The thing is also, I have wasted a lot of my life waiting around for men. I always seem to end up disappointed. So even though I love him like no other... I have no guarantees. I told him I would not necessarily wait. BUT... I also told him. no matter if I have something going on or not. I would end anything to be with him. I guess it would have to depend on if i ever find that same kind of connection again. I refuse to close myself off. So... I remain open to other people. So far, nothing has panned out. .. and it's never been because of me not being 100% involved. It's just the way things have always been. I can honestly say, no one has ever loved me like him. I have never FELT loved, the way he makes me feel loved. But until he can get here... I fear this has all just been a modern fairy tale. And maybe... someday it'll be my turn to be happy. Maybe.... someday, MY prince will come.
Just an update. I suppose the story is over. No "Happily Everafter" for me. Not with him anyway. I still have hope though. It may not end up being a romantic story like I would dream of... But.. if I could at least find someone who could possibly return the love that I am capable of, maybe I can begin a new story. We shall see...
I guess it's about time for me to talk about it. Very few of you know this little saga of mine, but I guess it's time to share.. I met Gavin October 11th 2008. I was bartending and this little Aussie guy runs up to the counter and asks for "free jagerbombs" I said, "Ya ain't gettin' nothin' round here fo free son" He laughed and replied, "I can't say my 'th's'.." then he held up three fingers and said, "free.. I need free jagerbombs". We both died laughing. My best friend Brandi yelled out.. "Is that the cute one?" ( I hate her sometimes) My face turned 30 shades of purple and I looked straight at him and said, "yup that's the one!" Then I looked away dying of embarrassment. The rest of the night.. he kept flirting. Not once did either of us see him look at any other girl. Every time I walked by he kept trying to con me into a kisson the cheek. I refused several times.. but I finally gave in. I overheard two guys from Alabama tell him, " You're doin' it all wrong... you gotta turn your head when she kisses your cheek.." "I'll try that!" he said with a shit-eating grin... So I know it's coming and my heart is racing.. needless to say, I walked by.. "knock me a li'l kiss gorgeous.." Of course I did. SUre enough.. he turned his head and kissed me on the lips.... I though I was gonna throw up. My stomach was flipping so bad and my heart was racing... My face got hot. I was flustered... this seemed to please him as he beamed at me from across the bar....... (to be continued)
