Shakin's blog: "Funny"

German Man Chainsaws House In Half In Divorce Split A 43-year-old German decided do something many other men have only thought about, he settled his imminent divorce by literally chainsawing the family home in two and making off with his half in a forklift truck. The trained mason measured the single-storey summer house -- which was about 8 meters long and 6 meters wide -- before chainsawing through the wooden roof and walls to create two halves. Police in the eastern town of Sonneberg said: "The man said he was just taking his due. But I don't think his wife was too pleased". After finishing the job, the man picked up his half with the forklift truck and drove to his brother's house where he has been staying since.

Ten Things Losers Do On Cherrytap....... ***ONE To the people who have like 25,000 friends, are you serious? You're stupid. Go play in traffic. ***TWO Don't ever post pictures and say "OMG, I'm so ugly" "OMG, I'm so fat" because if you were, you wouldn't post them. And if u do ur a freaking mongoloid. ***THREE Nobody cares about threats over the internet. Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard. Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics; even if you win, you're still retarded. ***FOUR Quit crying b/c you didn't win a contest. who cares? ITS CHERRYTAP!!! ***FIVE people who have whoring contests*such as creamy coochie,biggest breasts* or whatever other nasty and degrading contests your little brain can conjure up.. *to the guys that do these* go find a girlfriend and fuck her b/c apparently you need something to occupy ur time! *the girls that have them and are entered in them* ur just making it okay for guys to do that shit. what's that say about u?! ur an embarrassment. ***SIX Who really cares if I don't accept you as a friend? MOVE ON!!! Don't send me another request or message asking "what's up with you not adding me?" I don't want you as a friend, that's what's up! ***SEVEN Little 15 and 16 yr olds who have Cherrytap and look like sluts, and act like whores go somewhere else because nobody wants you here. And Parents quit blaming the internet,tv..etc for your kid being a hooker, she was a whore before, a nd she'd be a whore without it! What does that say about your parenting skills? Think about it! ***EIGHT If you have decided to read this, you are a true CHERRYTAP Friend. Real friends read their bulletins. ***NINE I say you go and pass this on and maybe it will finally get through people's brains(but i won't hold my breath for it) ***TEN And if you open a bulletin and it says something like repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape your dog tonight,or some dead skinless girl is gonna rape your mom" QUIT BEING DUMB! This is a test to see how many people in your friends list actually pay attention to you.

I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision. I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. The usual signs: Phone rings, I answer, caller hangs up. She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls, it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them." I always look out for her taxi coming home, but she always comes walking up the driveway as I hear a car setting off...as if she had exited the car 'round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi? I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her? Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my girlfriend. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her. I decided I was going to hide behind my car which would give me a view of the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of. It was whilst crouched behind my car that I noticed rust around my rear wheel arch. Should I take it into a body repair shop or should I buy some stuff from the local auto shop and try to repair it myself?

Who Says Men Can't Remember Anniversaries? A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?". The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes I do! " she replies. The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?" "Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continued......."Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'" "I remember that too" she replied softly. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said...... "I would have gotten out today."

This is soooo funny!! Busted over Beyonce tickets!!!!! Turn on speakers and just listen, it is long but well worth it………….. Just click below and listen while you are doing other things on the computer. you will start laughing your ass off!!!! Click here and enjoy. I promise you will be laughing your ass off!!

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer. Bitch...

Only in America .....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in America .....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America .....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. Only in America .....do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America ......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. Only in America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering. EVER WONDER ... Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why is "abbreviated" such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour? Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?! Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?