"Treat me like an angel and I'll be your lil' devil."
Crazy is a relative term in my family!
Men, chocolate, and coffee are all better rich.
"Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to."
Procrastinate now, don't put it off.
Boys make good pets!
Princess in training!
At least I can still smoke in my car
Caution, Blind Man Driving.
"Never think about the mistakes you made. Think about the mistakes you will make."
All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Have a nice day!
"To learn to succeed, you must first learn to fail."-Michael Jordan
"No BLOOD no foul."
"Life's an Ocean, Sail It"
"We are going to rip off your testicles.......and slash your tires." - Nip
Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you!
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film!
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
The sooner you fall behind the more time you'll have to catch up.
All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
OK, so what's the speed of dark?
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Depression is merely anger without words.
