just me's blog: "funny stuff"

i have a female friend who hasn`t been shy in letting me know that she likes men aswell as women. what is making me wonder is that she has told me she wants me and now today i have found out that she has sort of started getting the same stuff as me (clothes,cd`s,stuff for work)scary thing is she has now also started copying sex acts i have told her i have tried and she keeps asking me for more and more details. should i be scared or what???

well i have changed the time on my clocks and i have cum across one person so far who hasnt changed the time on their clocks and watches who else forgot and who remembered

D A M N I T O L Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours. E M P T Y N E S T R O G E N Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out. ST.M O M M A'S W O R T Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days. P E P T O B I M B O Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception. D U M B E R O L When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks. F L I P I T O R Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers. M E N I C I L L I N Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person. " BUYAGRA Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree. J A C K A S S P I R I N Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat. A N T I-T A L K S I D E N T A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators. N A G A M E N T When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him. Now, send these to any woman who needs a good laugh, and any man who can handle it.

There were three sisters, Molly, Polly and Fanny. They all went clubbing. Only thing was they all had really big feet. This guy started dancing with Polly and said “Wow you have big feet”. So Polly said “If you think my feet are big you should see our fanny’s!”

CIA Application Tuesday, June 10, 2003 < > A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available. The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The man looked horrified and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then." So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her; I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job." "No," the CIA man replied, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home." Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him." The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, rashing, and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet. The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a bitch to death with the chair!"

Pinocchio the Lover Pinocchio and his girlfriend are in bed, doing what wooden puppets do, when she suddenly sighs. He asks her why, and she replies, "You’re probably the best lover I’ve ever had, but every time we make love you give me splinters." This remark bothers Pinocchio a great deal, so the next day he seeks advice from Gepetto, who suggests a bit of sandpaper might "smooth out" Pinnochio’s relationship with his girlfriend. Pinocchio graciously thanks his creator and goes on his way. A couple of weeks later, Gepetto runs into Pinocchio at the hardware store, where his little wooden friend is buying every package of sandpaper the store has in stock. "So, Pinocchio," Gepetto remarks, "things must be going pretty damn good with the girls, eh?" "Girls?" says Pinocchio, "Who needs girls?"

God has apparently replied to a terror lawsuit against him in the States - by claiming he is immune to Earth's laws. God 'says' he is immune from our lawsA lawyer in Omaha, Nebraska, has filed an injunction against the supreme being - claiming he has made terrorist threats against him and his constituents. Ernie Chambers, a prominent civil rights leader and a member of the state legislature, claimed the Almighty had inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorisation of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants". The self-proclaimed agnostic is seeking a permanent injunction against God. But now it seems the creator has responded to the lawsuit after a file apparently dropped in from the heavens. "This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here, poof!" said John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha. Signed by "God" the response argues that the defendant is immune from our planet's laws and that the US court lacks jurisdiction over God. Blaming the Almighty for human oppression and suffering misses an important point, it says. "I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," claims the response. St Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Mr Friend noted